<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Can You Mend The Broken? by sarcasticbxtch</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370741">Can You Mend The Broken?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasticbxtch/pseuds/sarcasticbxtch'>sarcasticbxtch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Because I don't like canon, But it's not gonna be a lot, Canon Non-Binary Character, Chaotic lesbian/disaster Pan solidarity, Comfort/Angst, Coming Out, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Literally almost everybody is queer, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Past Drug Addiction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Santana is the gay girl that when drunk flirts with her male best friend, Self-Medication, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, There’s a happy ending I promise, Underage Drinking, aka My fathers worst nightmare. Sorry not sorry dad, aka Sam and Santana, because Quinn and Madelaine are a SLOWWWW process, cuz im obvs not a prude and I love smut fanfiction, finn is an asshole, here Quinn is a lesbian, just because she knows Sam won’t take her seriously, like so slow I don’t even know how the fire is still burning, so if u dont lke smut don't worry I promise there won't be a lot of smut parts k?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:14:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasticbxtch/pseuds/sarcasticbxtch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Family issues; Friendship; Realationships; Sexuality crisis; Anxiety; Dates; Problems in home; Breakdowns; Graduating; Suffering; Loving; Moving on; Letting go;<br/>....Welcome to life</p><p>Read the AN inside.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Noah Puckerman, Blaine Anderson/Original Male Character(s), Blaine Anderson/Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson/Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce/Noah Puckerman, Quinn Fabray/Original Female Character(s), Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez, Sam Evans/Noah Puckerman, Sam Evans/Santana Lopez, Sam Evans/Santana Lopez/ brittany S. Pierce/Noah Puckerman, Sam Evans/Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Sam Evans/Santana Lopez/Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Santana Lopez/Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Pilot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The story is an AU since it HARDLY follows any canon event and I changed a few character's sexuality. MORE COUPLES WILL BE ADDED AT THE FANFIC MORE SOON!</p><p>- I do NOT own Glee, I only own my OC's.<br/>- Sam, Puck and Santana's home life were TOTALLY made up<br/>-some chapters might include some triggering things, but don’t worry because I’ll warn u in the notes at the beginning of the chapter in this case.<br/>- OMG GUYS, FUCKING STOP. First off: No, Sam and Santana ARE NOT getting together, they are just best friends. And secondly, even if they were to get together, no one complained about me changing Quinn's sexuality and putting her together with a girl in here? No one complained about me making Sam pansexual? But when you THOUGHT Santana would be BI you got all mad and shit? Like, the hypocrisy in this... I can’t even— UGH.<br/>- sorry, got kinda stressed over this, enjoy the fanfic! ❤️ &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So... Sam knows Santana likes Brittany. He knows it because he heard her singing <em>“Songbird”</em> to Brittany once. He wasn’t planning on hearing it, but he was walking by the halls and stopped when he saw both girls. He didn’t know they were talking about something actually serious.</p><p>Brittany is still dating Artie, and when Santana got rejected he saw her cry, it was actually the first time he saw her crying, she’s usually the tough cheerleader that says whatever she wants, but she can’t fool him, when she’s with her friends she laughs. Still, he never saw her crying, she doesn’t like looking vulnerable, that’s probably why Sam got so surprised when he saw the girl confessing her feelings for the blonde. He thinks she must really like Brittany.</p><p>It was when he saw her crying that he realized that if Brittany was her best friend, but now Santana's mad at her... Who is Santana's friend and who is there to help her?</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The school bell rang, telling everyone the classes ended, and in a few seconds the hall were filled with students going to their respective lockers, putting their books away, talking, getting what they need in their lockers, and going to the parking lot to get their cars or to the front to wait their parents.</p><p>Santana is putting her books on the locker and getting a few notebooks to take home, when she turned around and saw Sam leaning in the locker next to hers.</p><p>–Hey, San –He greets and smiles.</p><p>–My name is <em>Santana</em>, Guppy face –Santana said and crossed her arms on her chest –What do you want, anyways?</p><p>– I just wanna know if you want to do something later –He shrugs, still leaning against the locker –Because it looks like we have friends in common and the Glee club,  but we barely even talk to each other.</p><p>– No, –She answers before shutting her locker and turning back to look at him again</p><p>–And why not? – Sam insists</p><p>Santana takes a deep breath and swifts her weight to the other foot –I’m just… not on the mood</p><p>– You know, it wouldn’t hurt smiling every now and then, San. –Sam calls her by her nickname again and sees her rolling her eyes.</p><p>– Okay – She finally says and he smiles –If you stop calling me ‘San’ –she adds</p><p>–No problem, Santana – he agrees and pushes himself away from the locker, now he’s on his feet – Where do you wanna go? –He asks and Santana thinks. She’s really not on the mood, so if she says somewhere he doesn’t wanna go, she can get away from this.</p><p>– To McDonald’s –She answers and smirks –I want to go to McDonald’s.</p><p>–Really? – Sam frowns and Santana nods –Okay then, uh...See you there?</p><p>–Yup, at six – She agrees</p><p>–See you at six, then, <em>San</em> –Sam smiles and turns around, when Santana is about to say something, he was already far away, she just rolls her eyes and before making her way to her car and driving home.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Classes ended at 2:30 as Always, and Rachel  went straight home, greeted her dads, and walked to the bathroom to take a long shower, since she needed one.</p><p>She was in love with Finn Hudson, they broke up a month ago, but she still liked him. Until a few weeks ago, when everyone heard Finn was helping Quinn cheating on Sam . This, in no way, is the person who Rachel fell in love with. Everything in her head is a mess, she doesn’t know how she feels about Finn anymore.</p><p>After her bath she lays on her bed and turns to the side, tired. Until she hears her phone vibrating with a message. She decided to ignore since she was tired and wanted to sleep. Plus, it was probably Finn and she doesn’t want to talk to him right now.</p><p>She couldn’t fall asleep because she was thinking too much, so she picked up her phone to see the message. She was right, it was Finn. He said she sang beautifully at Glee club today. She only answered “thanks”</p><p>Then, he sent another message <em>“I mean it. Your voice is beautiful”</em></p><p>She sighed before replying him.  She said “stop it, Finn. Please”</p><p><em>“Stop with what?”</em> He sent</p><p>“U r with Quinn now, aren’t you? Besides, what u did to Sam wasn’t cool, Idk if I feel anything for u anymore” She answers and he just reads the message, doesn’t reply.</p><p>She sighs and turns on the tv to watch Pretty Little Liars. She watched an entire episode and a half when her phone vibrated again. She leans and grabs her phone, when she opens it, she sees a message from Puck.</p><p> <em>“Hi, Rachel!”</em> He sent</p><p>“What do u want, Puck? Did ya find a way  to throw slushies at me online?” She replies</p><p><em>“No”</em> That’s all he answers</p><p>“Oh, sorry...What is it, then?” She texted back, knowing she had been rude</p><p><em>“It’s okay. Just wanted to know if u wanna meet somewhere we can eat..? Like a restaurant, or... somewhere”</em> He texted and Rachel smiled, although he couldn’t see her.</p><p>“Like a… Like a date?” She sent the question</p><p>
  <em>“yeah?”</em>
</p><p>“Oh, uhm... sure!” Noah smiled when he read that.</p><p>
  <em>“Really? That’s great! when?”</em>
</p><p>“Tonight, at seven. ” Rachel answers</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, okay. Breadstix?”</em>
</p><p>“Yup”</p><p><em>"I'll be there"</em> He sent and Rachel sighed happy. She never thought a guy'd want her, but two popular ones!? She must he dreaming.</p><p>Noah smiled and sat on the bed, he finally had a chance with the brunette.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sometimes She Cries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Next chapter will be literally only Puckleberry and their date! I'll be adding Finchel and Klaine in the story in about two chapters(?) And the girl who Quinn is gonna fall in love for in about three or so chapters. I'll add more couples later!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>In this instant, Sam got in the McDonald’s and sat on a booth at the corner. He tried to ignore the way his body was making him feel like he needed to eat a cheeseburger because there’s no way he’s gonna lose his abs just so he could eat a McDonald’s food.</p><p>And then Quinn and Finn entered the place, Sam looked away, hoping they wouldn’t see him there, but it looks like it didn’t work because Quinn is now walking towards him.Finn already sat down</p><p>– Sam? – She calls him and he looks up at her. – What a surprise to see you here… Do you even <em>eat </em>hamburgers? – she frowns as she asks the last part.</p><p> – No, Quinn, I don’t –He answers with nonchalant and avoiding eye contact. He doesn’t want to look at her right now. He still can’t. She cheated on him, how could she do that?</p><p>–So... what are you doing here? –Quinn asks, obviously confused.</p><p>Sam sighs trying to end the conversation because he really doesn’t want to look at Quinn right now. Actually, he can’t believe she didn’t have the courage to even come and talk to him since they broke up, but now she’s acting like nothing happened.</p><p>–I’m waiting for Santana</p><p>–Uh, San? – Quinn asks and Sam nods – Oh,Well... I was gonna tell you tomorrow at school. Like we’re going to do with the rest of the people, but since you’re meeting Santana and I don’t want you to hear it from her first… – Quinn starts</p><p>Sam knew, then, that it had something to do with her and Finn. Santana was the one who had said about the cheating to everyone, so if Quinn is worried about Santana telling him anything, it has something to do with them</p><p>–Okay, say it – Sam said</p><p>– Sam... – she sighed before finishing the sentence – it’s just that... Finn and I are <em>officially </em>dating.</p><p>Sam wasn’t entirely sure why she was telling him that. Wouldn’t he find out? Wouldn’t it be obvious? How stupid does she thinks he is?</p><p>– That’s great, Quinn. –Sam said flatly –I’m <em>very</em> happy for you</p><p>– Sam – When Quinn said that, he looked at her eyes, her expression was hurt, maybe, but he could see she didn’t regret what she did. What she did to him – You know... Santana isn’t a really nice person – Quinn said and breathed out –I mean it, Sam!</p><p>–I thought she was your best friend? –Sam frowns</p><p>–Exactly, she<em> was</em> – Quinn says– Until she said all that and –Sam cuts her off</p><p>–Until she said the truth – He corrects her</p><p>–I mean it, okay? She’s not a good person, Sam. She doesn’t <em>care</em> about other people’s feelings – Quinn says impatiently and Sam almost laughs at the irony.</p><p>–<em>She</em> doesn’t care about other people’s feelings? Really? Because last time I checked she was <em>not</em> the girl who cheated on her boyfriend <em>innumerable</em> times and then lied about it – Quinn is speechless –Quinn... not only I don’t know you now,  but I feel like I never did– Sam said truthfully  and Quinn licks her lips before mumbling something. Sam thinks it was something like “okay” and she stepped away, leaving him waiting for the other girl alone.</p><p>And then he saw her. Santana strutted in looking beautiful, but this feeling passed when she, instead of sitting down, stopped next to him, still standing on her feet, and glared at him</p><p>– So, remind me again why I’m here –she asks and crosses her arms</p><p>–Uhm... – Sam was about to answer when Santana, impatiently, cut him off</p><p>–Look, if you’re just gonna stand there and stutter, I’m out  – she warned</p><p>– We’re here because I think we could be friends – Sam answers and smirks, Santana just rolls her eyes</p><p>– First off: when you smile, you mouth looks huger than huge. – She says. Although she actually thinks it’s kinda cute. Next to his eyes (and abs, <em>obviously</em>) his mouth is his best feature. – Besides, I meant what we’re doing at the fucking McDonald’s. This place sucks – She explains and lets Sam confused.</p><p>– You chose the place – Sam says kinda confused and frowns.</p><p>– Oh, please. We both know we wouldn’t risk our hot bodies by eating at this dump. – She says. Kind of waving her hands in the air when she says “this dump”</p><p>– You do realize you just said I have a hot body, don’t you?</p><p>– Get over yourself. Let’s go to Orange Julius –She decides.</p><p>–Okay, I think I’d go for a smoothie– Sam agreed, but only because it’s surprisingly hot today and he’d get a smoothie, so it kinda is a win-win situation.</p><p>They leave the McDonald’s and in a few minutes they are at Orange Julius.</p><p>Santana looks up and sees Sam sipping his smoothie – Sam? – She calls and he looks up at her</p><p>– Yeah? – Santana shifts uncomfortably on her seat before finishing her sentence</p><p>–Why did you wanna hang out with me? – For a fraction of second, Sam thought he had seen her walls cracking, but before he could say anything, the crack was gone  –What, did you forget how to speak?</p><p>Sam just chuckled before answering  – I invited you to hang out because you look like you could use a friend – He shrugs</p><p>–I have Brittany. –She says as she brushes her hair off of her shoulder</p><p>–I thought you two had a fight? – Sam asks and Santana sighs</p><p>–I-it doesn’t matter, I gotta go –She says rushed and gets up in one quick motion, but Sam holds her wrist.</p><p>–Look, I know you’re kinda mad at her and all, but –Sam is cut off by Santana, who quickly turns away so she can stare him</p><p>–Wouldn’t you be mad if your best friend made the whole school think you’re fucking gay because of a stupid web show!? – She almost shouts</p><p>–You shouldn’t run away from who you are, Santana! – Sam tells her, who in one quick motion breaks free of his hold onto her wrist.</p><p>–You have <em>no idea</em> what you’re talking about. –She hissed and before he realized, she had stormed out. He ran after her</p><p>–You are running away, Santana! – He stopped running when she did so, he is, now, facing her back. – You shouldn’t hide who you are – He could see her body jumping slightly and hear low sobs – You obviously need someone to talk to and I’m all you’ve got – He says and Santana turns around to face him, still sobbing and a few tears fell from her eyes and across her face, ruining her make up.</p><p>– Really, Sam? You’re “here for me”? What if I don’t want you? What if I lost the only person I’ve ever wanted? – Sam just stayed standing there, people were looking but he actually didn’t care. He never was good with words, so instead he pulled her into a hug. He just held her and told her everything was gonna be okay, causing her to sob loudly.</p><p>–T-things are gonna be “okay”? I-I don’t believe in this-this bullshit for a-a second! – she shouted and sobbed even louder –which Sam didn’t think was actually possible, but it obviously was.</p><p>– Just... – Sam took a deep breath before finishing the sentence – Just trust me, Okay? Things are gonna get better – he assured her, making her laugh</p><p>–T-trust you? T-the only person I’ve ever t-trusted in my life was Brit-Brittany! And-And now she’s gone! I-I let her go! – She shouted again and Sam just looked at Santana. Crying and with her make up ruined. He didn’t knew what to say or do. He never saw her so, so... Vulnerable.</p><p>– Yeah, but you need to trust someone. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here – He said. Santana worried her bottom lip between her teeth. -Probably in a tentative to stop crying.-  And took a deep breath. She nodded sligthly as she looked down, then she looked up at him again</p><p>–I’m going home now. Bye, trouts – She says and gulps. Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, but didn’t say anything. He let her go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's taking me so long to update, school is taking most of my time, ugh. But don't worry, I already wrote more chapters, (they're in Portuguese, though. I still need to translate them).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Rachel saw her reflection at the mirror and smiled as she looked at herself.<br/>blushed cheeks, blue dress, pretty hair...</p><p>- You look beautiful - Rachel laughed a little. She really thought she was beautiful, how long has it been since she looked at the mirror and saw ‘beautiful’ instead of "fat" "worthless"? She doesn't know, she hasn't looked in the mirror for a while, but she likes what she sees. This is her. <br/>Rachel opened her cell phone and saw the time, it was just before her date with Noah. Rachel smiled and put the phone in her pocket before grabbing a coat and putting her sneakers on her feet, going down to the living room and sitting on the couch to watch TV while the time to her date with Puck wasn’t here yet.</p><p><br/>Puck  goes to his car and starts driving to Breadstix, where he was gonna meet Rachel. He thinks this situation is funny, actually.</p><p>He never thought he’d fall for a girl. Well, he obviously likes them, but all his relationships (if you can call them “relationships”) last one night, tops. And still, here’s him: Going to a date and falling in love for Rachel Berry. He could have any girl – Literally, any – But he is falling for the girl who loves his friend, Finn Hudson.</p><p>With that thought in mind, he entered the restaurant and sat on a booth on the corner, waiting for Rachel.  He didn’t have to wait for long, though, because Rachel enters the place not long after, wearing a blue dress.</p><p>He smiles and waved for her to know he was there, she smiled as well and walked towards the boy with the Mohawk.</p><p> – Hi, Noah – She greets smiling</p><p>– Hi, Rachel – He smiles and Rachel takes off her coat as she takes her seat in front of him – I, uh… I’m not really good at this. Dates, I mean – Puck says, causing Rachel to giggle</p><p>– Well, considering my first and only boyfriend was Finn and I’m the girl people throw slushies at... No one has ever asked me to go on a date before him, so we can say it’s something new for both of us – She chuckles and Noah just nods</p><p>– yeah – That’s all he says because he started looking at Rachel. Her beautiful and silk hair that landed on her shoulders. Her slightly blushed cheeks. Her smile... Damn, her smile...</p><p> And then, he’s snapped out of his light daze with Rachel’s words.</p><p>– Noah? Is everything okay? – And then he realized he must’ve zoned out for a while because she furrowed her brows as she asked</p><p>–Yeah, everything is great – He assures - ...Your smile is beautiful – He says and sees her blushing slightly</p><p>– Thank you – She thanks and smiles. They look at each other for a few seconds before Rachel breaks the silence – Mmm... What do you think about we get to know each other better? I mean, we don’t know each other so well, I just know the basic about you, we’ve been talking less and less as the years pass by. – She suggests  and explains</p><p>– yeah, sure – He agrees and nods. – And what do you wanna know?</p><p>– I don’t know, you could ask me something and then I ask you something I’d like to know – She shrugs</p><p>– Okay, uhm... – He agrees and thinks for a second – Do you have any pet?</p><p>–I had one– She answers – My dog, Matt Oliver the fifth – Rachel laughs at the memories</p><p>– You had one? I never knew you had a dog... Wait, So you had other four dogs named “Matt Oliver” before this one? – Noah asks and she shakes her head  – It doesn’t make any sense –  He chuckles</p><p>– I was four, okay? – She giggles a bit and then worries her bottom lip between her teeth and shakes her head – Matt Oliver the Fifth died three years later, anyways. I let him fall from my lap.</p><p>–Oh, I’m sorry...</p><p>– These things happen – She pushes the thought away – But what about you? Any pet?<br/><br/></p><p>– I’ve never had a dog, but I have a fish… – He answers – A gold fish</p><p>Rachel smiles – Really?</p><p>– Yeah, Goldie – He says, causing Rachel to laugh loudly</p><p>– Okay, hold on – She thinks for a few seconds –, You named you Gold fish… Goldie? – She asks and laughs again</p><p>– Shut up, okay? I’m a badass – Noah defends himself and chuckles</p><p>– I am not questioning it – She laughs, and when the subject seems to be over, she speaks again – But really? Goldie? – The brunette laughs again</p><p>– Yeah, yeah, I got it. – He rolls his eyes playfully, ..kinda– I think it’s your turn to ask something, isn’t it? – She nods and thinks about her question.</p><p>They kept talking all night long and only left when Breadstix was almost closing and they had to leave. Noah drove her home since she was without her car.</p><p>He really enjoyed the time with Rachel. He thinks she’s the first girl he’s treating nicely and doesn’t wanna get into her pants. (well, maybe, but it’s more than that).</p><p>– I had a great night. Thank you, Puck – She says and stops walking when she reaches the front door of her house</p><p>– I had a great night too – She smile and they look at each other for a few moments – Rachel, I...– The boy starts, still looking at her.</p><p>– You...? – She frowns in confusion when he doesn’t says anything. Instead, he leans in and kisses her, luckily, she kissed him back. She smiles as she pulls away, breaking the kiss, and opens the door to get into her house – See you at school tomorrow, Puck.</p><p>– See you – He smirks and she closes the door once she was already inside her house.</p><p>Maybe he was wrong about Rachel being so in love with Finn still.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll try to post the next chapter today!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. There Is Always Someone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Santana thinks she is all alone, but she's not. Not really.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dunno how I feel about this chapter. A lot will happen to Santana, so this chapter was kinda necessary :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Santana drove to her house and then ran up to the door.</p><p>Once she was inside, she locked it again. She sat with her back against the door and cried. In a normal day, she’d be calling Brittany, no doubt about it, but now… Sam was right, she had no one.</p><p>Brittany may not be mad at Santana, but Santana doesn’t want to talk to her – Because she’s probably with Artie and she can’t stand to be around them when they’re together and being all couple-y. It makes her wanna throw up.</p><p>She won’t call Quinn because they’re not really on speaking terms. Noah or Rachel’d be an option, they’re really close and they’ve known each other for years now, but… She doesn’t know if she’s ready to tell them what’s going on. Her pride won’t let her call Sam and she’s also not surprised her mom isn’t home because she never is. Her brothers are at college and she doesn’t wanna concern them with her teenager melodramatic  problems. And her father? Well, he’s on a business trip, like Always.</p><p>So yeah, Santana is, literally, alone.</p><p>She started overthinking and then she felt this anxiety and she knew what was gonna happen if she didn’t...</p><p>She got upstairs and went to the bathroom. She tried to clean her face in front of the mirror, even though she couldn’t quite see herself because of the lack of light in the house right now since she didn’t bother turning any light on  when she entered the house. And maybe it’s better this way since she’s pretty sure she looks like a mess.</p><p>Then she opened the cupboard over the sink, took a bottle of medicine and set a pill with a strong yellow color on the sink counter, filled her hand with tap water before putting it in her mouth and swallowing it with a pill.</p><p>The girl took a deep breath and blew out a shaky breath as she tried to calm herself in the hope that the pill would take effect faster. A few moments later she started to feel a little less desperate and maybe even a little more calm.</p><p>She thought she was alone, until she heard the door to her parents' room open, the light that came out through the crack in the ajar door increased and illuminated the dark corridor and a little bit of  her own room.</p><p>She thought it was her mother who was at home, so she just pinned her hair up in a loose ponytail quickly and took her cell phone out of her pants pocket as she walked to close her bedroom door in an attempt to avoid her as much as she can and not letting the older woman see her cry. But no, it was his father, who came back earlier from a trip.</p><p>– Tana? Is that you? – The man asks as he pokes his head out of the door, Santana shuddered in the second she heard her father’s voice, then ran to her parents' room to hug him. – Hi to you too, Sanny – Her father smiled and put his hand on her head. Then, when Santana seemed to sob a little, he got kinda worried – Hey, baby, are you okay? Are you-are you crying? – He takes her out of the embrace to look at her, which he didn’t do since she came in and hugged him but she was still with smeared mascara under her eyes.</p><p>– Honestly? No, daddy, I’m not okay, but I, uh... – She gulps – I don’t wanna talk about it... At least not now – She was totally honest with him and even though it was hard,  he agreed with a nod and a long sigh – Thank you – She said quietly.</p><p>– Mm... And your mom? Where is she? – he asks in na attempt to change the subject</p><p>Santana took a deep breath – She’s... – <em>She’s at the bar. She’s getting drunk.  She’s at some random guy’s house</em> – She told me something about covering another shift at work – And Santana couldn’t say it. She couldn’t tell him the truth.</p><p>She knew that if she told him everything her parents would get divorced and she already has a lot on her mind, she doesn't know if she could handle going through their divorce.  And since her father always travels, she knows that her custody would go to her mother, and that is the <em>last</em> thing she wants</p><p>– Oh – Her father begins – I guess it’s just us tonight then, huh? – Santana smiles, still with her make up kinda messy. Her expression is mirrored on her father, who also smiles.</p><p>– Yeah, I guess it is – She knows she is being selfish. She's lying to her father and making him believe in something just to make her life at least a little bit stable, but she can't help it, her father always travels and she wants to enjoy him here, not ruin everything. And she knows that she won't have much time with her father today if she tells the truth. So yeah, she's lying. – But I thought you weren’t back from your trip ‘til the end of the month? – Santana asks, she was confused by why her father came back so early.</p><p>– I came back earlier. I have to leave tomorrow, by the morning, but I thought it could be good, you know? I miss you and your mother – The man replies</p><p>– Oh, yeah, right. Makes sense – The girl sighed. He missed her mother, the woman who was either drunk or at some other man's house. She almost told her father the truth right there, but she just couldn't.</p><p>— I was also worried after what happened the day before yesterday,—  the man admits, and then Santana remembers:</p><p>
  <em> It was night, but she couldn't sleep. She turned from side to side but her head kept working, and whenever she thought she was going to be okay and fall asleep, she felt that pain in her chest that reminded her that she was still awake and living it . </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nobody's going to be in that house for the next few weeks anyway" Santana thought before going downstairs and looking for the liquor cabinet. She takes a bottle and a glass to drink the vodka. "This will have to do," she thought before drinking the first shot of vodka. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few shots later, her throat burned, but her body was warm. She didn't go up the stairs, she just threw her head back on the couch and then ... peace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> She remembers waking up a little groggy to the noise of her cell phone, it was her father. It was already day again</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- What? - She answered, she thought her father looked angry but had not said anything yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> - Why did I get a call from the school saying you didn't go to class?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> - Dad ... - Santana rolls her eyes. She is barely conscious yet, she shouldn't have to deal with this so early </em>
</p><p>
  <em>— Seriously, Santana, can you stop the drama for two weeks? How can I work if I keep getting calls to say that my sixteen-year-old daughter who is fully capable of taking care of herself is not going to class !?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> - For God’s Sake...</em>
</p><p>
  <em> - Are you doing drugs? What is happening? Do you want me to pay for therapy? — The man asked </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Santana sighed. Therapy? She honestly thinks that there is no therapy to solve this, or to make him realize that she doesn't need a professional, she needs him to really care. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- My God, dad! - she finally cuts it off, finally regaining her senses to know what was going on. - I just slept. Now why don't you do the only thing that matters to you? Work? Goodbye </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Young lady….! </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>she hung up </em>
</p><p>– So… I will clean myself up and then I will go down to the living room so we can watch a movie and make popcorn? – She gives the idea and her father smiles</p><p>– Great idea,  I will make the popcorn as you take a shower – Santana nods at her dad’s idea</p><p>She took a long, hot shower, it was as if she was cleaning all her worries away from her body. Then she put on her pajamas and socks and went downstairs to find her father, who had already made the popcorn and chosen what appears to be a comedy film  (Santana hates comedy movies , but her father loves it, and she<em> is</em> going to watch a comedy movie if it means spending time with him).</p><p>For her, that was the best night of the entire month so far, without a doubt. She watched a movie with the father that she missed so much , she laughed, she smiled, she forgot about all problems ...</p><p>That, of course, until the film ended and she went to her bedroom to sleep. Tomorrow would be another story.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll say it now just in case you haven't figured it out yet: this story is not all sunshines and rainbows. It has a happy ending, but it doesn't mean the characters are happy all the time. Lots of things are gonna happen (and obviously this chapter was positive compared to the loneliness Santana is still gonna feel). Spoiler alert???</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The boy Kurt Likes, Friendship, and Jealousy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Maybe Santana let her guard down;<br/>Maybe Finn is a little too hung up on Rachel to accept that she moved on<br/>Maybe Kurt likes someone<br/>and maybe this someone feels the same way</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>YAY! I'm updating two chapters in the same week!! That's an achievement, lol.<br/>Anyways... Hope y'all like this chapter, it took a little while to write and think about how to put the characters IC in this chapter...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The weekend passed, and on Monday Santana woke up alone at home again. She took  her sweet time to get ready, but then she realized it was 7:30 in the morning and that her mother would be coming home anytime, so she left home and took the car to drive to school. She was late, but  she honestly couldn’t bring herself to care</p>
<p>Puck and Rachel are really close and it seems to be pissing Finn off more and more. Puck does realize the stares but he doesn’t care at all. He knows Finn is just jealous because Puck is better than him in everything. When Puck wanted the quarterback position, he took it away from Finn (But he doesn’t like playing quarterback, so he quit the position); He always had the girls when Finn was stuck with Quinn and not getting some; Then Puck had Quinn and she got pregnant, another thing he had and Finn didn’t; And now that he’s actually trying to be in a relationship, he has Rachel; He has and have ever had everything Finn wanted, so what if if Finn is staring at him? He’d win him on fight (oh, see? That’s another thing Puck’d beat Finn at).</p>
<p>During lunch time, Santana decided to sit alone since she didn’t want to see Brittany and Artie sucking each other’s face and all her friends always take their seats together.</p>
<p>The brunette was playing with the salad with her fork and looking down at her plate, she just heard a chair being dragged and when she lifted her head Sam was sitting in front of her, she ignored it and looked at the food again before putting a leaf of lettuce in her mouth</p>
<p> – What do you want? After everything that happened on Friday, you still care about me? – She murmured the question, still not looking at him.</p>
<p>–Mm-hm. I still think that everything can get better  if you can count on someone – He responds with a shrug and she raises her head to look at him, but still saying nothing – I know how you’re  feeling, Santana. – He says and she laughs.</p>
<p>– You have no idea how I'm feeling, Samuel – She assures him, but he disagrees with her</p>
<p>– Yes, I do. It is as if your heart has been ripped out. As if Brittany had played with her feelings. You are feeling alone, as if you have no one and who you do have doesn't give a damn how you feel – She quickly raises her head. How did he know about her and Brittany? And how did he have any idea how she was feeling? – Yeah, I know. – He sighs – the part of the “heart being ripped out” was exactly what Quinn did to me, in case you forgot. And about “feeling alone” part... – Sam took a deep breath before shaking his head – It doesn't really matter how I know – He said she licked her lips and opened her mouth but didn't say anything, so she closed it again.</p>
<p>– How do you even know about Brittany? – She asks quietly after a few seconds</p>
<p>– Oh, yeah. I, uh... I heard you singing “Songbird” to Britt that one time... – He admits shyly and she snorts</p>
<p>– I was right then – Sam frowns in confusion  with the latina’s words – I need you to stay away from me – She says and gets up in one quick motion.</p>
<p>– Santana, wait! – He calls out and she stops walking, letting him reach her. When he does it, she turns to look at him – I know I shouldn't have listened to it, but ... But I did, it is not like it was something intentional, okay? – He says and she takes a deep breath – But I heard it. And now I know what's going on.  …Come on, San, who are you trying to fool? – He asks and sighs, she gulps – You need someone, and at the moment all you have is me. It may not be much, but it is better than nothing. – She sighs.</p>
<p>In that moment she remembered everything. How it was when she came home. She was alone and lacking the courage to speak to anyone else.</p>
<p>She was alone.</p>
<p> She needed someone</p>
<p>– Okay. – Santana gave in, her tone sounded more like a sigh – You're right, I need someone and it could pretty much be you.</p>
<p>– Wait, Seriously? – He honestly didn't think it would be that easy. The brunette nods. – So... friends? – She nods again.</p>
<p>– Friends – She repeats his word as he smiles and the bell rings, warning that lunch time was over and everyone had to go to their classes</p>
<p>– Do you wanna do something after class? I mean ... If we're going to be friends, we need to at least go out, right? – He suggests</p>
<p>– Uh… sure, …Lima Beans, after class? – She suggests and he nods</p>
<p>Sam turns around before waving his hand and starting to walk away – See ya!</p>
<p>– See you, Sam – She left the cafeteria then and went to the classroom. She laughed a little as the feeling of loneliness began to fade, but very slowly.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>But things were not going well for everyone.  Finn still likes Rachel, nothing new about that, but when she saw Rachel and Puck together in the hall... He didn't like it at all. Noah is a freaking womanizer, everyone knows that! He can't believe Rachel was so stupid!</p>
<p>– Hey, Puckerman! – Finn called out the boy. Puck was at the end of the hall going to his class</p>
<p>– Yes? – He turned around slowly to look at Finn, who had already reached him.</p>
<p>– You need to stop with that. – He asks bluntly</p>
<p>– Stop with what? – Puck asks, truly confused</p>
<p>– Stop playing with Rachel! – He says and Puck clenches his jaw</p>
<p>– I’m not playing or fooling around with her! My God, is it that hard to believe that I really like a girl!? – Noah starts getting mad. Okay, he has quite the reputation, but he’s not playing with Rachel! Besides, even though Finn and Puck used to be best friends, he has enough reasons to hate the guy already.</p>
<p>– Look, I just don’t wanna see her get hurt, and you know you have this reputation when it comes to girls. So just know that... Ig you hurt her, I’m coming after you – He threatens and Puck raises his eyebrows</p>
<p>– Are you threatening me, Hudson? – Puck steps closer to the tall boy</p>
<p>– You bet your ass I am – he says and stares at Noah</p>
<p>–...And where is Quinn? –  He asks, Finn frowns in confusion – What? I just wanna know where your girlfriend is when you’re defending your ex</p>
<p>– Give me a break, Noah – And then, Quinn showed up. She got closer to the boys and took a hold of Finn’s arm</p>
<p>– What’s going on here? – She asks and looks upa t Finn, who turns her head to look down at her</p>
<p>–Nothing, babe. Just talking to Noah. – He guarantees with a smile and gives his girlfriend a peck. Noah scoffs as he walks away and shakes his head as he walks to his class. He can’t believe he’s friends with this guy.</p>
<p>Quinn knows that Finn likes Rachel. She is not an idiot. But she needs him to gain popularity and become the prom queen. So if he doesn't bother to talk about it, she certainly won't.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>After class, Kurt was in his locker putting his books inside and picking up the notebooks he needed to take home when he heard someone clear his throat behind him, he turned and saw Blaine Anderson.</p>
<p>– Oh, hi, Blaine – The boy smiled. He was actually happy that it was Blaine, not Karofsky coming to beat him.</p>
<p>– Hey, Kurt - The boy with the gel hair greeted – You don't have any plans for now, do you? – He asks</p>
<p>– I don't – Kurt replies, his mind already starting to wonder…</p>
<p>– Oh, great, because I was thinking ... – Blaine starts – Do you want to go over to my house? We can watch a movie or something</p>
<p>- Mm ... Sure, I would love to - Kurt smiles. Is the boy he likes really wanting to spend time with him? He must be delusional.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Rachel was walking down the halls and going to the door to call and ask her father to pick her up since her car was in the garage, when she felt someone come up behind her and hug her. She squirmed a little at first, then looked back and it was Puck.</p>
<p>- Hi, beautiful - He let her go and started walking beside her.</p>
<p>- Hi - She smiled and he spoke again</p>
<p>- So, I was thinking - He starts - Do you want to go over to my house? We can watch a movie - He gives the idea and she thinks before nodding</p>
<p>- Of course, I just have to warn my parents and say that they don't have to come and pick me up again - She tells him.</p>
<p>- Okay, I'll start the car and after you call your parents you can find me in the garage - He says and she agrees. Her parents - Although they didn't love the idea, they left and they went to Noah's house, so the boy drove them both home.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the sofa in the living room of Blaine's house eating popcorn while watching a movie.</p>
<p>At some point in the film, Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, not that Blaine is complaining. In fact, he just smiled while looking down at Kurt and then returned to paying attention to the movie. Kurt smiled to himself as he realized that Blaine didn't move his shoulder or shifted when he realized that Kurt had his head on his shoulder.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Kurt hears Blaine call his name and he looks up to look at the other boy. – Yes?</p>
<p>- I, uh ... – Blaine stutters a little, making Kurt frown and sit right on the couch, still looking at the boy</p>
<p>- You...? – And the next thing Kurt remembers is Blaine leaning forward and kissing him. Kurt kissed back. Blaine who broke the kiss first</p>
<p>- I really needed to do that,-  Blaine completed the sentence, making Kurt smile.</p>
<p>- I'm glad you did - Blaine smiled at Kurt's words</p>
<p>-Yeah? – Kurt nods – What if... What if I wanna do it again? – Blaine smirks and asks</p>
<p>- Well… Then I think you should do it again - Kurt smiles and Blaine leans over to kiss him again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also, this chapter is just a filler, I personally don't like the first chapters very much, but I'm loving them after Quinn's crush is introduced and Sam and Santana become friends.<br/>But honestly, everything just starts to make sense after the prom chapter... Spoiler alert?? well, not really</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Was I dreaming the whole time?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>OMG I haven’t updated it’s been a while and I’m so so, so sorry!<br/>Anyways... in this chapter we FINALLY MEET THE GIRL QUINN IS GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-Blaine? - Kurt asks as he frowns. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- y-yeah - Blaine answers, lost in his thoughts. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-You called my name - Kurt explains, kinda confused as he sat straight on the couch - what’s wrong? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- N-nothing, I thought... sorry, just... nevermind - Blaine sighs and pays attention to the movie again. He didn’t kiss Kurt. He just imagined it... God, what if he was staring at Kurt as he thought about kissing him? Kurt probably thinks he’s weird right now... what should he do now? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blaine just sighed and laid back against the couch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam was at the register paying for his black coffee and Santana's... iced mocha? He’s not sure what she asked for...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he returned to the table she was staring at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Well ... Tell me about yourself - He asked while sitting at the table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- There's not much to know - She shrugs - I'm the top bitch in that school, I'm the captain of the cheerleaders, and at some point in between I fell in love with my best friend. - The girl sighs and shakes her head - But it's too late. Wheels told her he’s sorry and they are dating again... - She shrugged as she took a sip of her drink.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- I meant something I don't know about you, San - He thought for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee, and said - My favorite movie is Avatar and Spiderman, directors cut, of course - He smiled with pride. Santana just looked at him with a cold expression for a moment and then opened her mouth to answer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– avatar and Spider-Man look stupid– she mumbled </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– Santana Lopez, are you trying to tell me that you’ve never watched Avatar or Spider-Man? - he asked completely shocked </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– never have and never will, Evans. Now close that mouth of yours, you look like a constipated monkey when you’re trying to think. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">– Okay, okay – Sam said, still trying to understand how Santana have never watched any of these movies. – Okay, so... what’s </span> <span class="s2">your</span> <span class="s1"> favorite movie, Santana? - Sam asked.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– Hmm... – she leaned on the chair before answering - the hate U Give. - the brunette answered - it mean girls. I like both.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– I, uh... have never seen any of them. - Sam admits shyly.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">– What!? – She was the one shocked this time – They are the </span> <span class="s2">best</span> <span class="s1"> movies ever created! – Santana guessed – you gotta watch at least one of those films!</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– okay, imma watch the mean hate or whatever it’s called when you watch avatar – Sam insisted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– The Hate you give and mean girls, Evans - she said spelling every word for him – And no way – She laughed at him –there is no freaking way I’m gonna watch a two-hour-long movie about a guy who gets powers from a spider o whatever or about blue freaks!</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– Hey, you know about the spider, that’s something - He says and she snorts as she rolls her eyes– Besides, if we are gonna watch Avatar, Santana, we are gonna watch the directors cut - he laughed at her - ...and it lasts way longer than two hours.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– Yeah... I’m never gonna watch that - Santana snorts - But okay, whatever, next question, then... – She thinks before asking: – If you were to get arrested, why would it be for? – she asks Sam, who takes a sip of his coffee before answering.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– Stealing a car, obviously. If I’m gonna go to jail I’m gonna at least ride a good car first – He answers and shrugs, she laughs at his answer. - what? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– using the car you just stole is so dumb! – The brunette says and he rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">– I’m gonna get arrested anyways, right? - the blonde defends himself weakly. - but okay, why would </span> <span class="s2">you</span> <span class="s1"> be arrested for, Santana?- Sam asks and Santana answers almost immediately</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-Stealinga store or a jewelry, definitely. - Santana answers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They kept playing until the place was closing and the guy who worked there gently asked for them to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Santana is not gonna admit it for no one, but she actually had a lot of fun. Maybe she had found a new friend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And... Sam was right, Santana is fun. But he’s gonna push his feelings for her aside because what Santana needs now, most than anything, is a friend. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rachel and Noah just arrived at his house, he opened the door and locked it after they were both inside. Rachel hung up her bag before going to the couch and sitting down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You can choose a movie - He hands the control over to the girl - Any movie, as long as it's not too girly - He remembers to add it and Rachel giggles</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-Yeah, Got it - she said as she turned on the TV and realized that Puck didn't sit down, but walked into the kitchen. - What are you going to do? - She asked while lifting her neck to try to see the boy.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">- oh, I'm going to make popcorn - He answers without turning around and takes a pressure cooker - You can't see a movie without popcorn and I </span> <span class="s2">think</span> <span class="s1"> I know how to do it - The brunette shrugs</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">- You </span> <span class="s2">think</span> <span class="s1">? - She asks and he turns only his head to look at Rachel while nodding - Okay, stop. Stop everything - She says getting up from the sofa and crossing to the kitchen, which confuses the other teenager.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- What is it? - He frowns in confusion as Rachel takes the pressure cooker from him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">- When you talk like that, I think you don't even know what a popcorn is made of - She replies hastily and he laughs - Really; and since I don't want you to set the house on fire, </span> <span class="s2">I'm</span> <span class="s1"> going to make the popcorn. - The girl decided and the boy raised his hands in redemption.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You're in charge - He says before lowering his voice to continue - but It wouldn't be so bad to set fire here, I don't have any good memories in this house at all - Puck mutters, partially to himself and Rachel turns to look at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Did you say anything? - The girl asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">- What? N-no - He assured her and she murmured something that he thinks was "okay" and turned her attention to the food. - And just so you know, I </span> <span class="s2">do</span> <span class="s1"> know what popcorn is made of, okay? - He says as he turns around and walks into the livingroom again.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Ahem - She laughs and continues to make popcorn and when she finishes they will see the movie. Puck's mom came through the livingroom once,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rachel knows her, she is not a very nice lady and did not bother to talk to her. Noah's sister, Alison, who is the opposite of her mother, was not there, Rachel did not ask why; she just chose a movie and they watched it. Hey, at least it wasn’t to girly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finn was sitting on the bed with Quinn doing things for their campaign for prom king and queen. Finn was distracted and Quinn knew that he "wasn't there".</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Finn - She calls, making him blink a few times and look at Quinn, who sighs - You're thinking about her, aren't you? - She asks quietly - ... Rachel</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- W-what? No - The boy lied - The only girl in my head is you, babe - He assures her, but it's another lie. The blonde nods.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Okay - Quinn wasn’t at all convinced, but again, she needed to be the prom queen, and will only do this with Finn beside her, so she dismissed the subject. But even so, it was not easy to forget, so when she was on the way home, she called Madelaine, her friend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Hello? - Madelaine answered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Mads! I ... need to talk to you - Quinn said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Sure. What is it? - Madelaine was a little worried</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- It's Finn, he ... He still likes her, he still likes Rachel - The blonde admitted and heard the other girl sigh over the phone</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Look, come to my house and explain it better to me, okay? Don't jump to conclusions - she asked and Quinn took a deep breath</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- It's not jumping to anything, he still fucking likes her! - the blonde says. If he still likes her, it would be obvious to everybody else and she was not gonna win prom queen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Just come here and we'll talk about it, Q - Madelaine asked again, Quinn sighed and agreed, changing her route and driving to her friend's house.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She rang the bell and was greeted by the red-haired girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Hey, come in - Madelaine invited her. Madelaine is a white girl and has a straight, long, red hair, but she has no freckles on her face, only some on her nose, which are almost imperceptible. She has big dark brown eyes and her lips are now shiny with the Cherry Gloss she always uses. It is a little cold, so she is wearing shorts, but in a furry, white, red and orange striped coat over her blouse. Quinn accepted the invitation and entered the other girl's house. - Explain everything to me, Quinn - Quinn sighed and sat on the couch</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Well, it’s a kinda long story</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There is a little bit of KLAINE, but don’t be mad at me, haha, it’s important for the rest of their story.<br/>There’s a friendship starting between Sam and Santana! ...and Finn still likes Rachel? Hopes for finchel???</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. After Summer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Semi-formal is approaching as another school year starts. Summer is over, but some people aren’t over what happened before summer had started.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IM SORRY THERE ISNT ANY KLAINE SCENE HERE but there are gonna be klaine scenes next chapter!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I don't know why we have to study Spanish on a Friday night, Santana. It's barely been a week since summer ended. — Sam murmured, partially to himself, as his face fell into his hand. He and Santana were in his room studying for Spanish class </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Because I will <em>not</em> let my best friend recover in a matter as simple as Spanish! — She explains</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You only think ‘simple’ because you speak fluently! - He accuses her</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– ¡Oh, Evans, no me grites! te juro que si no fueras mi mejor amigo... – She starts, but Sam cuts her off</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Yelling at me in Spanish won’t make me learn it any better! - He says and she laughs</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Shut up, Samuel - She takes the pillow and puts it on his face, who throws the pillow away and laughs</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- So ... are you going to the dance? - Sam has avoided talking about the dance with Santana because he knows it can be a delicate subject for her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took a deep breath - Probably not - She answers without animation</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Come on, Santana, it's been over three months since ... - He risked saying, and she quickly cut him off</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- It doesn't matter how much time has passed. - She says and he sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You know, I haven't invited anyone yet, it doesn't mean I'm not popular at that school. A lot of people go alone - He tries to cheer her up</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- I know it doesn't mean anything, you're the team's quarterback and I'm obviously the future captain of the cheerleaders, going alone isn't a big deal, but ... - Her voice fades out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- but?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- But the person I want to go with already has a date, Sam - she gets up from the bed and walks around his room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- What if we went to prom together? - He gives the idea and she quickly turns to face him - As friends, this way neither of us will go alone - The boy shrugged and the brunette approached him with a thoughtful face</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You know what, Samuel? I think it might have been the best thing you said the entire month!- She laughs a little and punches him playfully on the shoulder</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Ouch - he rubs his shoulder playfully - I can't go with you if I break my arm! - He jokes and she rolls her eyes</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Yeah, right - She says and turns on her cell phone to check the time - Hm, I better get going, you have football practice in a few hours - She says as she slams the phone in the palm of her hand slowly and approaches the bedroom door - Bye, Sam - She leaves the room. He can hear her saying "bye, Dean" and then hearing the front door slam, which means that Santana is gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lays on his back and stares at the ceiling. Not long after he sees his older brother, Dean, entering the room by the corner of his eye. — Mmm... — That’s all Dean says as he watches Sam and supports himself at the open door. Sam lifts his head a bit so he can see Dean. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— What? — He asks and lets his head Fall to the pillow again, since the other position was getting kinda uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— You like her. — Dean says and chuckles when Sam immediately sat on the bed and glared at the older brother. Dean is 22, he’s not much older than Sam considering that Sam is turning 18 this year. He is tall and white, but his hair, unlike Sam’s is brown and just a little bit longer, but their noses and eyes are alike.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I don’t. Why would you say that? — He asks curiously.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Come on, Sam — Dean laughs again. — you keep looking at her with this dumb face — Sam was about to open his mouth and say something but he can’t because Dean kept talking — it’s cute, actually. Sure, it can weird sometimes because you know about Brittany and that she was also Santana’s ex best friend. I mean, does that sweet expression that you use as you look at hermakes me want to throw up? Well, not gonna lie, it does, sometimes. But usually it’s kinda cute. — Dean shrugs . Yeah, Dean knows a lot about Santana. It’s just that usually Dean can hear their conversation. Not that’s something intentional, but Deans room is next to Sam and they have really thin walls. Besides, Santana and Dean get along and they’re actually good friends, for Sam’s surprise.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam just shifts in bed, uncomfortable, and doesn’t argue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Okay, maybe I like her... — he mumbles</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">— not “maybe”, you </span> <span class="s2">definitely </span> <span class="s1">like her. — Dean laughs and Sam throws him a glare. — okay, sorry. — He says as he gets closer to Sam, now he’s in front of him. Sam looks up so he can see better his brother, since he was sitting and his brother was standing. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– you’re going to the semi-formal together, right? Don’t mess things up. — He says and playfully punched his younger brothers arm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">– what’s the deal with punching my arm? Like, really, first Santana and now you? — Dean chuckles. — But still... I don’t think I have a chance with Santana. I see her watching Brittany as she walks by. I see them smiling at each other during classes and honestly? It kinda hurts. And the worse thing is that I can’t even hate Brittany because she is the sweetest person I’ve ever met. But if I don’t hate Brittany and I don’t hate Santana I hate myself because I fell for my fucking best friend and she’s a lesbian! – Sam says, he can’t even believe in the words he’s saying. If he does something he might ruin their friendship and consequently any changes he has with Santana. But if he doesn’t do anything he’ll have to watch the girl he likes love someone else. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Sam, uhm... </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— What?— Sam doesn’t let Dean finish and asks </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— it’s just that... when you talk like that... about... hating yourself and all that...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— what about it? — Sam interrupted his brother again, who used all his will power not to get mad.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— you’ve been... you’ve been using your medications as prescribed, right? — then Sam just sighs, what makes Dean worried — Samuel!</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Yes, Dean! My God, yes! I’ve been using it, okay? Chill. — Sam guarantees and Dean nods with a sigh </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I believe you. I just... The PTSD and... you know... it just makes me... I don’t know, I guess I just...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I know — Sam says and Dean just nods — I know what can happen if I let my guard down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I know you do. That’s what makes me worried. — Dean says— You knew it too when you...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Dean, I’m fine! That’s what matters, right? — Dean shrugs and nods — Then I’m great. I really am. Thanks for worrying but I’m good. You should worry about yourself. Not trying to be rude, just...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I know. I will worry about myself. — Dean says — Now come on, let’s stop being so girly and dramatic and you can help me with food because I have no freaking idea what I’m doing. — Dean says and Sam chuckles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Okay, but I don’t know how to cook either </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Yeah but if we set the house on fire I can at least blame you. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Okay, you won - Madelaine said raising her arms in redemption, Quinn chuckles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You lost! - Quinn counted victory. The two were sitting on the sofa at Quinn's house, who had just won an argument over Pretty Little Liars characters.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- don't feel so victorious, it wasn't even a competition - The redhead says to the other girl, who shakes her head</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">–Mads, any victory against you should be celebrated - Quinn disagrees.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Okay, okay - Madelaine rolls her eyes - Want to watch Pretty Little Liars then? - The redhead suggests and the blonde nods</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Sure - Quinn takes the remote and turns on the TV, putting the series in the episode they had stopped. The only problem is that in the middle of the episode Quinn found herself looking at Madelaine.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maddie is actually very beautiful. Her skin is clear, but her cheeks are flushed, and she has no makeup on, so she notices her freckles slightly. Her eyes are dark and for Quinn they are a mystery, a mystery that fades when she smiles. Madelaine's smile is beautiful, she has beautiful teeth and her lips are always shiny and a little red with the Cherry Gloss she likes to use. Madelaine doesn't always wear a lot of makeup, and for Quinn she doesn't really need to and ... <em>Oh my fucking God!</em> Quinn thought and swallowed, her eyes traveling back and forth across the room. <em>No no no no NO </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Quinn? -Madelaine looks at the girl, who was obviously worried - you Okay? - She asks while trying to decipher the expression on the face of her friend, who was now looking at her with her mouth open and thinking about what to say.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- I-I'm fine - Quinn fakes a small smile</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You mean it? - Madelaine asks, wanting to be sure, Quinn nods.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Oh shit!</em> Quinn thought, Quinn had already realized that she looked at girls in a different way. When she was in cheerleading practice, she found herself constantly looking at the other girls. But she always thought it was just because they were friends, or even that it could be normal. And then she started to think about her relationships: She only dated Sam because he was the Quarterback of the team and that would bring popularity, and now Finn because he is gaining popularity and it would be his best chance to be the prom queen. The lack of interest is almost obvious and it made Quinn freak out a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Q, I have to go, my mom apparently forgot her house key and I have to go back - Madelaine laughed a little and Quinn nodded. - See you later?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Yes, of course,— Quinn offered a small smile. - Go ahead, no problem</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Thank you, I'll talk to you when I get home, okay? Bye - The redhead spoke and opened the door, waving her hand before closing the door again. Quinn throws her head back on the couch and sighs audibly. Her head was a mess.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rachel was watching Money Heist in her bed, she and Noah had started the series together, but she slept in his arms once so it was an episode late, she wanted to watch soon so they could finish the series together.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the episode ended she took out her cell phone and saw that Puck had left a message earlier saying that he wanted to meet her at school after his football practice was over, she saw the time and realized that the training would be over in twenty minutes, she didn’t have her car right now, but luckily she lives near the school and could walk, she should arrive in about 10 minutes or so. She actually likes walking to school, she can listen to her music as she walks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl got out of bed and took a coat, not that it was too cold, but she was inside the house so you never know. He took out his cell phone, put on the first sneaker he saw and left the house.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Puck were doing laps to finish the training. The coach doesn't consider running part of the training, in fact, he says that if you can't run, you shouldn't be on the team, but he still finishes the training with 5 laps on the court.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- So? Prom? - Sam hears Noah ask from his side and turns to look at his friend, still running - I just didn't see you inviting anyone. The Cheerios and all the hot girls already have a pair - He says and Sam smiles</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Santana also has a pair - He says, hoping Puck will understand, but he just shrugs</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- I don't know about San, I only know that at least half of the team wanted to go with her - He laughs at Santana's memory rejecting everyone and shakes his head. He and Santana have known each other since the age of eight, he got used to the girl's attitude - She said no to everyone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Yeah, Noah. Because she is going with me - Sam rolls his eyes, before quickly adding - I mean, as friends.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Oh, right, sure - The boy laughs - That's what you say, Evans</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- What you mean? - Sam frowns - Look, you know what? I don't even want to know what you mean - Puck starts to run less when the two are already reaching the men's locker room door. - You and Rachel are going together, aren't you?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Uh, duh? - puck says as if it were obvious... well, it kind of was — And speaking of the dance, you and Artie need to go over to my house this weekend, remember? The stupid headmaster doesn't want to pay for a band and we're going to have to sing - he rolls his eyes, making the boy beside him laugh a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-Ah, yeah, I'm going there Sunday morning, then? - He asks and the other boy nods. - Okay, see you, then</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— See ya, — Puck said and took off his shirt before he finished entering the locker room and headed for the showers, Sam did the same a few seconds later.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After showering and getting dressed again, Noah left the locker room and walked down the halls of the school, toward the exit. At the school door he saw Rachel, she was distractedly kicking the floor, but she turned her head immediately when she saw the door open and smiled when she saw her boyfriend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- You came - The boy smiled - I thought You wouldn't see the message in time, I thought You were with Kurt or maybe even Santana, you have to do a duet for the glee club, right?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-Santana is not talking to me a lot these days, it actually worries me, - The brunette explains - I was at home, watching a tv show, but that's okay - The brunette guarantees - What is not okay, though, is that I came here walking , and I will not walk home again. How can I solve this? - Rachel pretends a thoughtful face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Do you want a ride home? - Puck asks, Rachel makes a fake surprise face that makes Puck laugh</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— Of course I do,— Rachel replies and laughs a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Noah leaves her at home but he stops when she is about to open the door. - what's it? - Rachel turns her head a little, then her body, and looks at Noah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- We are going together to prom, right? - Puck asks and looks at his girlfriend, waiting for the answer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Is that your invitation? - Rachel laughs a little</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Okay, I'll get better, hm ... - Noah thinks and smiles after knowing what he's going to say - Rachel Berry, my Jewish princess, would you do the honor of going to prom with me? — He asks and she raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Jewish princess, huh? - She laughs and he smirks and shrugs</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Is that a yes? - He asks hopefully</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- Noah Puckerman ... - Rachel makes suspense, he raises his eyebrows, she sighs and puts his hand on his cheek - Yes, I would love to be your date for prom - Rachel says and looks at her boyfriend for a few seconds, he smiles and kisses her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he walked away from her he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Rachel frowned. It was now, those three words. The ones that scared him the most, until tonight. He just didn't know why he didn't want to speak. He only loved a girl before Rachel, she didn't love him back. Maybe that's why he doesn't date girls, doesn't commit. Fear. But with Rachel it was all so ... simple. So liberating. They've been dating for three months and he thinks she feels the same way, so he said it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— I love you, Rachel Berry,— he said as he looked at her. She raises her eyebrows slightly in surprise, but that expression fades and is replaced by a softer one when she is happy to be able to say:</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- I love you too, Noah Puckerman - Rachel smiles and kisses him again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Rachel entered the house and went to the bedroom, she lay on the bed and sighed happily. She doesn't know why, but it was as if everything had changed in just three words. Three simple words that could change everything so much.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know the way Quinn realized she is liking Madelaine is kinda dumb, but she is liking her anyways so the way she finds out doesn’t really matters... right?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Friendships And Other Boundaries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rachel wants to fix things with an unwilling Santana.<br/>Quinn has a weird dream about Madelaine.<br/>Sam needs help and the truth about the reason why Dean and Sam live together is finally out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, a Saturday afternoon, Santana was sitting on the sofa at her home and fiddling with her cell phone when she received a message from Rachel. They were very close but then Santana was alone and Rachel left her, since then Santana has been talking less and less with Rachel. But she answered anyway.</p><p> </p><p>"Can u meet me at the mall?" It was the message Rachel sent.</p><p> </p><p>"Why would I do that?" That's what Santana replied</p><p> </p><p>"Bc we need to talk" Rachel answered Santana's question</p><p> </p><p>"Kk" It was all that Santana sent and turned off her cell phone before putting on a shoe and going to find Rachel, she knew it was in the food court because that was where they always met.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel got there a few minutes before Santana, she had to wave to Santana to notice her presence. She was standing, not sitting at a table. Rachel was wearing a reindeer sweater as always, jeans and a black sneaker. Santana was wearing shorts and a black V-neck blouse.</p><p> </p><p>- Hi, San– she smiles when she sees the girl. Santana, on the other hand, does not smile or shows any signs of being very happy to be there at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>- What do you want, Survivor of one left? - She asks and crosses her arms, waiting for an answer.</p><p>- Talk? - The girl tries, but Santana just snorts.</p><p> </p><p>- Okay, but save me the speech and get to the point, Hobbit - She asks, still with her arms crossed.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel sighed - You are using the nicknames again ... You are mad at me - The shorter girl found out, but at the same time she was confused - What did I do? - She asks and Santana sighs and doesn't answer, but her arms fall from her chest and she looks away - Why, San? What happened? - Rachel asks, she knew better than to contest Santana when she was angry.</p><p> </p><p>She looks at another girl again before she warns - If the reason you asked me to come here was just because you wanted me to magically open up to you, you better give up.</p><p> </p><p>- No, that's not why I called you to come here at all. But you're mad at me and I don't even know why! - Rachel exclaimed and Santana still refused to answer.</p><p> </p><p>- It doesn't matter why! I'm the one who's angry and I'm the one who feels everything, okay? So you should take care of your own damn problems and leave me alone. - Santana says - Actually, if I were you I would enjoy that you're already out of your house and go look for a barber because your mustache today looks thicker than that of a, like, fifteenth century dictator. - Santana said nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel was getting mad. It is one thing to know how Santana acts. Another is to try to fix things with her even without knowing what she did wrong and to have her denying letting her guard down and going back to acting like she hasn't known you for years.</p><p> </p><p>- Come on, Santana! Why are you acting like this? You're acting like that with everyone but Sam and Brittany. Why did you hate everyone again? What happened to that summer's promise? "Let your guard down" remember? - Rachel asked, begged, actually, and prayed that Santana wouldn't be the person she was last year.</p><p> </p><p>- ... When I "let my guard down" people tend to let me down. And...enough of disappointments for me. I don't hate people out of the blue, you know? it's just that the rest of the people in the world are idiots - Santana answered sincerely and shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>- I won't let you down. - Rachel guaranteed - I just ... I just want to understand what's going on. Please, I ... I miss you. - She confessed, since she knew this was something Santana would never confess. Santana looked down and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>- You know what, Rachel, you deserve the truth, right? It was because you left me - Santana replies without looking at her colleague. Rachel frowns in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>- What? I never...</p><p> </p><p>- You left me when I needed someone - Santana accused before chuckling, finding herself very vulnerable at the moment. She needed to change that. - but you know what? It was the best three months of my life because it was three months without having to see your ugly face or weird clothes or hear your annoying voice talking for hours about things that nobody, absolutely nobodycares about.</p><p> </p><p>- Santana, do you know that sometimes I wonder why we are even friends? Because as far as I can see, I'm just trying really hard to make things right here while you're being a bitch, as always! - Rachel says getting angry and Santana scoffs.</p><p> </p><p>- Honey, I wonder why I'm your friend. Orwhy anyone is. 'Cause you know what? You're an annoying little dwarf who opens your mouth to talk for hours about... Ah, it's true, yourself. Because that is your only subject. The only thing you can talk about. And I don't even know why, considering that your life is the most boring life I've ever seen, seriously. But maybe it's because you're an unbearable drama queen wannabe-diva-from-hell! Perhaps that is why you're always talking about your boring life and yourself.</p><p> </p><p>- I give up - Rachel finally says after a few seconds later and threw her hands up. - You are impossible.</p><p> </p><p>- Bye-bye! - Santana waves her hand while Rachel turns her back to leave. - oh, and Rachel - She calls, making the other girl turn around, hopefully - You should go to the municipal theater, I heard that the stage is as big as your ego! - Said Santana, Rachel sighed and shook her head as she turned and left the mall again, Santana continued to shake her hand and say goodbye sarcastically, which irritated Rachel even more.</p><p> </p><p>When Santana got home, she was feeling heavy, as if she had lost the chance to lift a weight off her shoulder, and it wasn't long before the thoughts invaded her head again.</p><p> </p><p>Rachel said she was impossible. She hears this a lot. She hears it from Mr. Shue whenever she corrects him in class. She hears it from the people in glee club when she is being completely honest with them. From Coach Sylvester whenever she does something wrong or misses a step in the cheerios practice. She hears it from her mother whenever that woman decides to appear on her house. Hell, she even heard it from Brittany after she yelled at that random girl in the hall. And now she heard from Rachel too. Maybe she was impossible. Maybe that's why people always keep distance from her, or why they don't really give a shit to what happens to her,</p><p> </p><p>What did Rachel think of her now? What if Rachel found her problematic after all this? Santana acts as if she doesn't care, but she does. It made her think about her own problems. Totally ignoring the meeting with Rachel earlier today.</p><p> </p><p>What if everything she considers to be great things is really just drama? What if ... What if her problems with her mother are pure drama? What if things with Brittany are big just in her head? What if Sam doesn't really like her? What if they're only friends because Sam took pity on her? What if the loneliness was not true? What if it was and still is? Was it just drama? Were they all unnecessary worries? Were they not? Does Sam know it's all drama? What does he think of her when she talks about how she feels about him?</p><p> </p><p>All of these assumptions made her feel ashamed and scald herself inside. She took a deep breath but all those hypotheses made her literally feel sick. They made her wanna throw up and Santana didn't want to deal with it now. She lays on the sofa and tries to stop thinking about it, she even put a program on TV, but the thoughts returned pushing and digging their spaces inside her head more and more. She couldn't even concentrate to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>The girl got up from her place on the sofa and walked towards the kitchen to get a glass of water and went upstairs with it to the bathroom in her room, resting her hand with the glass cup full of water in the sink.</p><p> </p><p>Santana opens the cupboard over the sink in her bathroom and takes out a bottle of medicine that contained some pills. She discovered this a few years ago, when a doctor prescribed "agomelatine" for her when she went to the doctor after a panic attack and discovered that she had anxiety. It is an antidepressant. The pills left her relaxed, and made her sleep better.</p><p>But it was not enough. She is constantly stressed and antidepressants were not enough, she was not "depressive". The next time she went to the doctor she asked him to prescribe other remedies, remedies for anxiety attacks, and so he did.</p><p>This time Santana chose to take "Alprazolam".</p><p> </p><p>This medicine leaves you relaxed, maybe sleepy... numb. As if she is floating and all worries are... gone. She likes how she falls asleep faster most of the time. She really likes how it feels to be with nothing on her head. To feel... okay. Not that just one pill of this medicine would do that, but it did help. She tries not to become an addict so she doesn't take more than one when she needs to.</p><p> </p><p>And Santana doesn't always ask for prescriptions for her doctor, she already has many medicines. She's not that out of control, after all.</p><p> </p><p>And yes, she has several other medicines besides Alprazolam. She has this one and five different ones: Benzodiazepine; Buspirone; Escitalopram; Fluoxetine and Amobarbital. Most because of anxiety. She doesn't need six different types of drugs, one would already solve her problems, but what can you do? she likes to have options and it's not like someone close to her cares what she takes. All remedies do kind of similar things to her, but some are stronger than others, she knows what they are and what they do with her. She knows when she needs to take each one.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Madelaine was sitting on her bed with her boyfriend, Oliver, and talking. Oliver is a tall boy, with brown hair and tanned skin, he has light brown eyes.</p><p> </p><p>- Do you want to watch something? - he asks - We can continue the series we started - He gives the idea, Madelaine bends to pick up the television remote control.</p><p> </p><p>- Sure, which one? - The redhead asks as she pulls herself back to the previous position, taking a lock of red hair from the front of her face and turning on the TV. - Riverdale or Legacies? - She puts it on netflix and waits for her boyfriend to respond.</p><p> </p><p>- Riverdale - He responds quickly - I, um ... I've already seen Legacies - He admits embarrassed and sees her glare at him.</p><p> </p><p>- Really?</p><p> </p><p>- Sorry? - He tries, she sighs and shrugs</p><p> </p><p>- Okay, I'll watch it later with Quinn - She murmurs and puts in the episode of Riverdale that they had stopped, the only problem is that she saw Toni and Cheryl and thought about Quinn. She thinks about Quinn constantly, actually. Sometimes even seeing Legends Of Tomorrow when Sara and Ava kiss. She also thinks about Quinn sometimes when she is going to sleep or in the bath. But it must be just because they are so close and because Quinn makes her laugh. ...right?</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p>- Hi, love - Rachel gave her boyfriend a quick kiss before gesturing for him to enter.</p><p>- Hi - He smiled and entered the house - Hi Mr. and Mr. Berry - He greeted.</p><p> </p><p>- Hello, Noah - LeRoy greeted him and offered a smile, her other father did the same.</p><p>- Let's go upstairs. - Rachel nods to the stairs, Puck just follows her to her room and they sit on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>For a while, they just stood there, hugging each other, and sometimes talking about some silly topic, after all, it was a Saturday night. Until Puck spoke again</p><p> </p><p>- I know it Probably isn't the thing you want to talk about, but ... - He starts, still running his hand through Rachel's straight hair - when was the last time you spoke to Santana? - Puck asks, Rachel sighs and her eyebrows raise slightly for her to try to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>— Earlier today, actually,— Rachel admits, making Puck frown. Santana has been talking to him less and less. why, then, if she still speaks to Rachel? — But I had to insist to even have her to say "hello" to me — Puck's confused expression fades with his girlfriend's last words.</p><p> </p><p>- Ah, well ... She doesn't talk to me that much either</p><p> </p><p>- She apparently was alone, baby. And she doesn't talk to us that much because you know how stubborn she is. - Rachel lets out a sigh and licks her lips - If you try to talk to her, I'm sure she'll be normal with you again - Rachel guarantees. - I mean, she has put up with you for over eight years, you know? She wasn't going to waste it - Rachel laughs and Puck rolls his eyes playfully, before laughing too.</p><p> </p><p>- Yeah, you're right - He smiles.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Santana was going to Samuel's house. They are usually there since Santana doesn't want Sam to find his mother if she happens to be back from the bar early. Dean said it was okay if Sam invited Santana over for dinner, she knocked on the door a few minutes later, since they live nearby and she was driving.</p><p> </p><p>- Coming! - Sam shouted and went to answer the door, knowing it would be Santana. - Hi, come in - He invites and the girl takes off her coat and enters the house of the two brothers. She wore the same clothes she was wearing when she went to meet Rachel at the mall, after all, only an hour or two has passed since she got home.</p><p> </p><p>- Hi, Sam. Hi, Dean - Santana greeted, walking to the kitchento see Dean - I didn't know he was cooking - She said as she watched the older boy stir a dough.</p><p> </p><p>- He doesn't cook - Sam promptly guaranteed, shaking his head - He just saw this video on how to make pizza on Youtube and he's trying to make it - the blonde points with his hand to the cell phone with a paused video - He wanted to call because if it works out he wants to brag and will find himself a professional cook - The brunette nods.</p><p> </p><p>- It makes perfect sense - She says - Well, let's let the illustrious cook concentrate then. Good luck, idiot - Santana says and Sam agrees, so they leave the kitchen after Santana says goodbye to Dean. Dean put the pizza in the oven and joined them on the living room sofa.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Quinn had a long day. A very long day.</p><p>She trained for the cheerios this afternoon. Tomorrow the tryouts will be open. As she and santana are co-captains, the two of them and Sue will basically judge the girls that are auditioning. She just hopes that freak, Taylor, won't tryout to the Cheerios again.</p><p>That wasn't even the biggest problem. Quinn always suspected that she was lesbian. She was always open to that option. But she didn't know that she would like Madelaine. Well, she doesn't say with any conviction that she likes the redhead, but all the signs indicate that she does.</p><p>Quinn tries not to think about it too much while lying on her bed. It was early, but she was tired and wanted to sleep, so she turned to the side and tried to close her eyes.</p><p>She felt her body being moved on the bed, someone made her lie on her back. She opened her eyes quickly and stared at her bedroom ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>- Shhh ... - Madelaine whispered before leaning over and kissing Quinn. Quinn returned the kiss and felt Madelaine's hands slide between her panties and her skin and then pushed a finger in Quinn's hole and Quinn moaned.</p><p> </p><p>The blonde opened her eyes and jumped up, quickly sitting up on the bed. Her breathing unsteady and she swallowed hard, she could feel in her legs that she was wet. ...Shit. Quinn dropped her head in her hands.</p><p>"You have got to be kidding," she murmured to herself as she shook her head and narrowed her eyes. This is not happening, this cannot be happening ...</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>- Are you also smelling that smell? - Sam asks, making his friend and brother take a deep breath to try to smell it, Santana made a strange face.</p><p> </p><p>- Burned? - She asks and Sam nods.</p><p> </p><p>- Dean, the pizza! - Sam remembers and Dean almost jumps off the couch to run towards the kitchen, a few seconds later they see the man coming back.</p><p> </p><p>- Yeah ... it burned - Dean says and Sam sighs</p><p> </p><p>- Damn - Sam says, - And what are we going to eat now? - The blonde asks, Santana had already turned on her cellphone</p><p> </p><p>- Now we order a new pizza. - She decides and calls a pizzeria.</p><p> </p><p>- Oh, let me guess: I'm going to pay, right? - Dean asks and crosses his arms.</p><p> </p><p>-Of course, you burned the pizza - Santana says, Dean rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>- San, do you know the number of the pizzeria? - Sam asks Santana, who was already waiting for the pizzeria to answer.</p><p> </p><p>- Yup. My mom isn't home most nights, so on Fridays I take her card and order pizza. - She explains with a shrug - Ah, they answered, wait ...</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Some time later the doorbell rings indicating that the pizza has arrived - Dean, the pizza! - Sam yells to warn his brother, who had gone to the bedroom to put on a coat.</p><p> </p><p>- I heard, okay? You didn't need to shout - He spoke as he passed through the corridor and went to open the door. - Hello, good night - Dean greeted. Sam hurried and already took the pizza from the delivery man and put it on the table. Dean paid the delivery man and closed the door.</p><p> </p><p>They were eating, when Santana started the subject</p><p>- I have a question. - She starts, the expressions on the faces of the two brothers made her understand that she should continue - Why do you live together? you never told me that, Sam. - She asks, the faces of the two boys are obviously tense. - oh, uh... Is it a difficult subject? - She deduced.</p><p> </p><p>- No, no problem, it's just ... - Sam swallows hard - My parents and my younger siblings... the four died in a car accident - He says, his voice a little weak. Obviously not mentioning the fact that he was the one driving the car when the accident happened. He blames himself for that every day. Every. single. day.</p><p> </p><p>Santana didn't know what to say, for the first time in her life - Ah, I-I'm sorry for your losses - She said and sighed, Dean just said it was okay and brought some other subject up, but Santana couldn't stop thinking about what Sam had said. His parents and his two siblings died. She can't even imagine it.</p><p>Not because of her mother, but her father. The hardworking man who loves her. She also wouldn’t know how to deal with the loss of him and her brothers. Her brothers are both in college, Scott and Theo. They are twins (not identical). She doesn't know if she could get through those losses.</p><p> </p><p>For the rest of the night, she talked to them, but sometimes she still thought about it. She had said goodbye to Dean and was about to walk out the door when Samuel stopped her.</p><p> </p><p>- what? - She asks as she turns around, her hand was still on the door ajar.</p><p> </p><p>- I want your help - He started, the expression on Santana's face made him understand that he was supposed to continue - Me, Noah and Artie are going to sing at the semi-formal and everything, and I need an idea of what to sing? - He asks, she sighs thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>- I don't know, sing ... - She smirks and chuckles a bit with her idea - Sing "Friday" or "Please Me" - She laughs with her own music choices.</p><p> </p><p>Sam thought. "Friday" just doesn't make sense and it sucks. And "Please Me", as much as it has a nice beat, is certainly not a song to be sung at a dance, let alone one at school. He looks at her, not understanding why she made a joke if it was serious.</p><p> </p><p>- what? - She asks when she sees him staring at her, getting annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>- I’d prefer to scratch my eyes out - He says sincerely</p><p> </p><p>- you and all the rest of the student body, Trouty - She laughs some more, but he still didn’t know what was so funny.</p><p> </p><p>- San, seriously?</p><p> </p><p>- Ugh, but I already said! - The brunette tries to think, but nothing comes to mind - Sing Friday or Please Me, - She answers again. She knows both ideas suck at this case, but she can’t think of something else.</p><p> </p><p>- Okay, thanks for the help - He murmurs and she shrugs when she closes the door, he rolled his eyes at the horrible ideas of his friend.</p><p> </p><p>You know what? Maybe he will sing one of these songs.</p><p>- - -</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Trying Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's time to try out for the cheerios, and someone Quinn doesn't want to see shows up. Someone that makes Santana turned on did.<br/>It's also time to decide what song to sing in the semi formal, and Sam tries to make his friends sing Friday.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Slow updates, I am so sorry. Been really busy with school and homework and stuff. Chem is a bitch,<br/>But here is chapter 9! I hope you all like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>- No way we're gonna sing this shit - Noah said and Samuel grunted and threw his head back</p><p>- Please - He asked again. It was Sunday morning and they were at Puck's house to choose the song they were going to sing at the semi formal. Sam proposed to them that they would sing "Friday" this Saturday.</p><p>- No way we're going to sing this shit - The boy repeats - It doesn't make any sense - He concludes and Sam makes a confused expression</p><p>- What do you mean "it doesn't make any sense"? - He asks, frustrated that his friends didn't give the song a chance.</p><p>- I think what he means is that, like ... It is on Saturday, why would we sing a song called Friday? - Artie answers for Noah. -Besides, the lyrics? God, they are awful,- the boy concludes, making Sam roll his eyes.</p><p>- Please, guys.  - He asks again, making Puck roll his eyes - I need to sing this song for Santana ...</p><p>- If we are going to sing a song for someone, it will be for Britt - Artie said, cutting Sam off. He and Brittany are on the verge of breaking up, he will do anything to keep her, he loves her. But Puck?  Puck just rolled his eyes. </p><p>- No way are we going to sing this shit, Evans - He repeats and at that very moment Puck's younger sister walks through the door, looking mad</p><p>- My God, Puck! Stop saying the S word! I am with our neightbours babies!- She says - you are as stupid as the boys in my class, fuck's sake! - She finishes. Noah has a sister, Alison. She and Noah have the same eyes and similar skin tone, Alison's lips are thicker, and her hair is a little darker. Their nose is similar. - Ugh - She walks away the same way she entered. The girl obviously doesn't care about she saying "Fuck" but cares about Puck saying "shit"Sam and Artie tried not to laugh at the face Noah was making at the moment </p><p>- What are you two, idiots, laughing about? - He asks rudely</p><p>- Was that supposed to be an insult? Because it kind of failed, man ... - Sam says and laughs a little, but he regrets it right away ... he REALLY didn't want (or need) Puck picking on him today.</p><p>- yeah, well, your dad's condom "kind of" did too - Puck said with a snort</p><p>- Yeah, um ... Why don't we go back to choosing songs, huh? - Artie suggested, trying to change the subject.</p><p>- I thought we had already chosen Friday ... - Sam muttered. Artie grunted with the boys annoying insistence</p><p>- Ugh, okay. puck, can we sing this awful song just so Sam will shut the hell up? - Noah let out a long breath and rolled his eyes</p><p>- Okay, whatever - He gives in and throws his hands up in redemption. Sam simply smiles and silently counts victory.</p><p>They start talking, but then Puck hears a noise downstairs and seems to remember something. He didn't say why, but asked Sam and Artie to leave, he claimed that his mother had a headache and that they were making a lot of noise, but Noah's mother wasn't even at home.</p><p>Anyway, the two boys accepted the lame excuse without asking questions and left the friend's house. They didn't even know something serious was going on.</p><p>*</p><p>Santana squeezed her ponytail while looking at herself in the mirror. She was getting fat ... oh fuck. </p><p>But on the other hand, she looked... powerful.</p><p>Santana slipped on her audacious character and put her hands on her hips as she walked through the school's somewhat empty corridors, since it was Sunday and only the cheerleaders would be there, as if she owned the place. </p><p>- Ah, Hi, Santana, I, uhm ... I'm Olivia, I'm going to audition for the cheerios and I ... - A short girl came up to Santana, excited, anxious and apparently lost. But Santana just shook her head and cut the girl off.</p><p>- No, no, no. stop - The brunette asked with a kind of grimace and raising her hand, the girl stopped, thinking that the other would have something good to say, but Santana just replied saying:  - I don't care.</p><p>Santana left the girl there and walked over to where the tryouts were happening and sat down beside the coach and Quinn's empty seat. About twenty minutes later the blonde walks in with her head held high.</p><p>- Finally. We were almost postponing the tests - The brunette spat while shaking her head at the girl's delay and placed her cell phone on the table.</p><p>- Listen, Lopez, for me to look hot like this, I need my time - Quinn said and rolled her eyes as she sat down at the table.</p><p>- Yeah, it must suck not to be naturally hot. Having to stay a thousand years in front of the mirror looking at yourself pityfully and hoping to look beautiful instead of fat one day ... - Santana sighs dramatically - I can't even imagine. ...Go ahead, call the first amateur. - Santana asked and the trainer let out a long sigh.</p><p>-, Jolene - the coach shouted and a girl entered the gym, a little awkward.</p><p>- Hm ... hi, I'm Jolene - the girl introduced herself. The coach asked her to dance and show her choreography and the girl did. In the end, Quinn smiled generously, but it was obviously fake. It was part of his facade: looking kind. Ugh, Santana hates that about Quinn. </p><p>- No - Santana said as soon as the girl finished. Quinn said goodbye generously and Santana contorted her face with false kindness.</p><p>- Anna, you can come - The coach called the former cheerleader. - I kicked you out last year - the older woman remembered and Anna just nodded.</p><p>- Yeah, I know, but I think it was the biggest mistake you ever made. And there are no rules against former cheerleaders trying to join the team, so here I am.</p><p>- Okay, show me what you got - The trainer said and Anna put the music on her ipod and walked to the middle of the court so she could dance.</p><p>- Yes - Santana quickly said, as soon as the performance was over - I vote yes. I mean, it's better than the whales that tried before her. </p><p>-I also vote yes. - Quinn said as she smirked and Coach Sylvester shrugged.</p><p>- Looks like you have a second chance. - The older one said and Anna smiled</p><p>- Thank you very much, I will not disappoint you - And with that the girl left the gym, leaving the coach to continue the tests and call the next girl.</p><p>- Mendoza, Taylor - The trainer called and Quinn's eyes flew open as she stood up and snapped her hands on the table.</p><p>-You!? - Quinn asked, Taylor just smoothed an arm with her hand while looking embarrassed. - This is the cheerleading team, not the freak show! - The blonde exclaimed, Santana just arched an eyebrow at her teammate.</p><p>- I ... I ... - Taylor swallowed hard - I'm not a freak. I'm a girl and ...</p><p>- Wrong. You are a boy who wanted to be different and thought that the best way would be to do ... That - Quinn said while gesturing with her hands - But guess what? It doesn't make you different, it makes you an aberration.</p><p>- Enough! - Sue exclaimed, there were limits, even for her. And Quinn saying this? It was the limit.</p><p>- Leave! - Quinn ordered - I don't want you on the team, go away, Made in China woman!</p><p>- Quinn, you're going to have detention and your parents are going to be called to school! - The coach decided when she saw Taylor swallowing the cry, making the girl finally stop to breathe and look at the trainer with wide eyes.</p><p>- What!? You have got to be kidding me!</p><p>- No, I'm serious. Tests will be postponed, you go home now. - Coach Sylvester decided and Quinn looked down and closed her eyes while taking a deep breath. Taylor wiped her face with her palms and got out of there as soon as possible. If Quinn is leaving, she doesn't want to see her, let alone now that Quinn has been harmed by her. Then, with her head down, Taylor left the place and ran out of school.</p><p>Santana rolled her eyes - Thanks a lot, facist Barbie - The brunette said before getting up and leaving the gym. So yeah, Taylor was trans, Quinn had no right to treat Taylor like that.</p><p>- San ....</p><p>- Go fuck yourself -  Santana said as she left the gym, cutting off Quinn, who left the same place a while later.</p><p>*</p><p>The dance was approaching and Quinn and Finn were working on their campaign. Still.But out of nowhere Quinn was lost in her thoughts. She liked Madelaine. She liked Mads. She stopped to think about how she was never attracted to boys and how she constantly thought about girls. She was a lesbian. She liked her friend. She, she .... She was brought to consciousness again with Finn's words</p><p>- Babe? Quinn? Quinn, are you there? - He passes his hand in front of her face, making her take a deep breath and come back to reality. - Are you okay? - He asks worried.</p><p>- Uh, yeah, I am. I'm fine. - She feigned a smile and Finn turned his attention back to the poster he was working on, still suspicious, but decided not to piss off Quinn. </p><p><em>That's it</em>. Quinn thought. She is a cheerleader, which means that without Finn she is still popular, he just helps her to leverage more. And she is only with him to become queen. Then that's it. After she wins the votes, she has to break up with Finn. But she can no longer  date Finn when they don't even like each other.</p><p>- You liked it? - She hears the voice of Finn resonates inside his head and blinks a few times. She frowns and he repeats the question - The pinup . What do you think? - He suspends the poster he was working on and Quinn swallows dry before nodding</p><p>- I like it. It's nice- The blonde offered a small smile to her boyfriend</p><p>- Cool - He smiled a little and went to make something else. He realized something was wrong with Quinn, but if there was something he learned, it was not to be pressuring her. And while Quinn's hands were focused on making a campaign poster, her mind was thinking of a certain red-haired girl ...</p><p>*</p><p>- Do you think she's straight? - Santana asks while in Sam's bed. She was lying, with her belly against the mattress, and propping herself up on her elbows. Sam was sitting on the floor, but looking at her - Sam! - The brunette called when she got no answer</p><p>- Huh? - Sam asked, Santana's voice wiping out his thoughts, Santana frowned as she looked at him curiously. - Wait, who are we talking about? Is she from our group of friends? Because if she is, then she probably isn't straight.</p><p>- Sam, really? What is wrong? are your lips starting to take not only your face but your brain as well?</p><p>- Oh, wow, are you being nice to me for a second and then insulting me?</p><p>- You know what? I'll praise you if you stop complaining like a little bitch. You're cute and hot, happy now?- she watched and Sam laughed a little. </p><p>- Thank you, I think</p><p>- Mm-hm, you're very fucking welcome. Now seriously. What do you think?</p><p>- Who are we talking about? Explain-explain it to me again - Sam asked and Santana let out a long breath before rolling her eyes again and explaining:</p><p>-Anna. I never noticed before, but she is very hot. Like, very very hot. She auditioned for the cheerleaders today and ... My God. Do you think she is straight?</p><p>- Didn't she sleep with like, all the guys on the football team? - Sam asks and raises his eyebrows, Santana just snorts</p><p>.- Only with the whole of the football team? She would kill herself if she heard that because she would be so fucking disappointed in herself. - The brunette murmured, making her friend laugh. - She sread her legs to more than half the guys at that school.</p><p>- I thought you liked her?</p><p>- What? Of course I don't! I said I want to fuck her, not date her - Santana commented and made a disgusted face, Sam just shook his head with his friend's methods.</p><p>- Well, I'm sorry if I don't think like that, I'm not Puckerman.</p><p>- Of course not, you are the greatest gentleman, he is a womanizer - Santana said - I mean, the first thing he looks at are the breasts and the ass. He's lucky to have Rachel now. As much as it all started only for the wrong reasons.</p><p>- Wait, what do you mean? Sam asked. Suddenly interested in the conversation.</p><p>- I never told you? - Santana frowned - Hm, well ... It started at the end of the last school year, as you know ...</p><p>
  <em>Santana and Puck are near the lockers talking. Santana was looking at things in her own  locker while Puck was at her side talking about something Santana was pretending to care about.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Hm ... San, tell me something, why have I never given Rach a chance? - Noah asked as he watched Rachel walk past them. Bouncy, as if she had just received good news. But everyone knows that it is a facade since she still has her heart broken by the break up with Finn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- I don't know, I don't care. - It was Santana's instant response, but then she saw her friend staring at her and sighed - I don't know, because she just brok up with Finn, your best friend? - Santana tried, Puck pouted while standing on tiptoe and then fell to the floor again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mm-hm, probs yeah. But she looks really hot underneath her weird clothes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- 'weird' isnt enough. This  dwarf dresses like an old lady and a baby at the same time - Santana snorted - Like, come on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Isn't she one of your best friends?- Noah laughed and Santana shrugged.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yes. I said that her way of dressing is horrible, not that she is horrible. And besides, I'm not even being a fake friend since I talk about her clothes in front of her too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Yeah, okay. And so? Do you think I have a chance? - Puck asked while moving his eyebrows, Santana frowned while forming a grimace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- With the Virgin Mary of Lima? - The brunette snorted loudly - You can wait patiently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Nah, you'll see. I will have Rachel Berry by the beginning of the summer. 25 bucks?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mm-hm, I'll take that. You got yourself a bet</em>
</p><p>- Wait, is this serious?-- Sam asked, Santana just nodded.</p><p>- Hell yeah, it cost me 25 bucks. - Santana said with desblief - But you still haven't answered me, idiot. What do you think of Anna?</p><p>- I do not know. I think she likes men. It's just like you said, she slept with all those guys, right? - Sam shrugged, uncertain about his opinion, but since Santana wanted an answer so badly...</p><p>- And since when does sleeping with people of the opposite sex makes you straight?- - Sam was genuinely confused by Santana's question. HeterosSEXUAL. it means sexual attraction to people of the opposite sex. So yes, sleeping with people of the opposite sex makes you heterosexual, right? - I mean, look at Blaine, for example!</p><p>- Blaine is straight, Santana.</p><p>- Yeah, okay - obviously Blaine only slept with those girls to pretend to be straight and not have to come out to his parents. Santana laughed at the friend's naivete, who just shook his head. - Look at me, for example</p><p>- Santana, you ... - Sam couldn't finish the sentence, she had a point.</p><p>- Hm ... - Santana thought, and then a new question came into her head - Sammy, with who was your first time with?</p><p>Sam blushed a little at the question and bit his lower lip, Santana's eyes widened - You're kidding, right? - Sam shook his head - Are you still a virgin? With that body? You gotta be kidding - Santana said with a chuckle, Sam shrugged - Oh, shit, so are you saying that no girl has ever tried ....</p><p>- God, one thing has nothing to do with the other, Santana! - Sam cut his friend quickly, who threw hsd hands up in redemption. - I just ... I want it to be special, I think. With someone I really like.</p><p>- My God ... - Santana pretended to be touched - You are definitely the first virgin man I hear that say.</p><p>- That was the most stereotypical comment I've ever heard- Sam laughed a little.</p><p>- Whatever, you are the guy who has kissed more girls than I can count and is still a virgin here.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. (Un)expected Visits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>- Sam has been acting kind of weird<br/>- Maybe there is some hope for Brittany and Santana, after all<br/>- Sam maybe finds someone that might be a friend<br/>- Puck decides to go see someone he hasn't seen in a few months<br/>-Is something about to start between Quinn and Madelaine?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More brittana here! But idk, brittany kinds of pisses me off in this chapter, LOL<br/>PUCKTANA FRIENDSHIP!!!<br/>More about Quinn and Madelaine!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Friday morning, at the first class, Santana arrived early and sat down. Brittany arrived later with some other groups of students and she sat down next to Santana </p><p>- Hi, San - The blonde smiled and sat down next to her friend. </p><p>- Hi, Britt-Britt</p><p>- How are you? We haven't spoken in a few weeks and ... I miss you - The blonde said and shrugged - Did I do something that upset you? - She asks innocently and Santana laughs a little. It's actually sad because Brittany either doesn't know that she's hurting Santana every day, or is pretending to be an idiot ... obviously it's the first option. </p><p>Britt is way too sweet but her naivety hurts. It really hurts. - No, you didn't upset me, Britt. I just ... I think we just... Started talking a little less. - The brunette explains and the blonde nods.</p><p>- Totally</p><p>- Do you want to do something later, then?</p><p>- I would love to - The girl smiled, her expression after a few seconds mirrorred in Santana's. - Can I go to your house? And then we watch Disney movies? - The blonde gives the idea. Brittany has always loved Disney movies, and Santana has never had a problem watching them with Brittany.  Also, Friday is their day. Since kids they've been together every friday night. Well... Not anymore.</p><p>She and her former best friend started talking, so when Sam got into class, he didn't bother to separate the two, he went to sit next to Anna. He knew better than to ruin Santana's moment with Brittany.</p><p>- Hi, Anna - He put his backpack on the floor and got one book from his backpack. Today Sam was slower. He walked but it actually looked like he was dragging his body, he didn't look like he was on a good mood and he didn't look like he wanted to be there. He sat down but looked more like he had dropped into the chair.</p><p>- Hi, Sam - Anna greeted him, but she was paying more attention to the blond boy's strange mannerisms today. - Are you okay?</p><p>- Hm? Ah yes. I'm fine - He smiled at the girl. That period went well, except that Sam slept in the middle of class. The teacher gave them an assignment in which they had to choose a partner and Anna asked to have Sam as a partner before anyone else could and took the papers that explained the work.</p><p>Sam managed to go out without many questions asked until in the after-lunch period, when Sam and Santana had another shared class, Santana realized how strange Sam was.</p><p>- Hi, Santana. — he greeted, Santana smiled a little</p><p>"What's up?" She asks as he sits down, frowning when she sees something different. You are slow today-</p><p>- I'm fine. Just ... I think it's better if you don't go to my place tonight, and... I shouldn't go to yours either.-</p><p>- Why? You sick? - She frowned as she asked, if he was, his mannerisms would kind of make sense. Sam let out a long breath before shaking his head. He just doesn't wanna. He wants to stay alone. Besides, she has her old best friend back, that's what it looks like. So she doesn't need him anymore. Lets be honest: She just hangs out with him because she needed someone, it's not like she actually cares about him, right? And now Brittany decided she wants her, so...</p><p>- No, I just... I'm going out with Dean tonight, y'know? - He lied and Santana pretended to believe, she was going to be with Brittany anyways, that already made her happy.</p><p>- Ah, and Brittany is going to my house today, so I wouldn't be able to go to your place anyways, so... - The brunette said while she saw the professor enter the room and took a notebook out of the backpack. Sam opened his mouth to say something but the math teacher started to speak, so he just nodded and picked up a book</p><p>.*</p><p>Quinn heard the doorbell at her house ring, she knew it was Madelaine since the girl had warned that she would stop by her house. She went to answer the door.</p><p>- Hi, Mads - She smiles and gestures for the other girl to enter</p><p>- Hi, Q - She entered her friend's house and sat on the sofa next to the blonde. - Oliver saw "Legacies" without me - She rolls her eyes, which makes Quinn laugh a little - And I was wondering if you had already finished the series, because if not, we could watch it all on Friday .. With popcorn, pizza, chocolate ... Everything. What do you think? - She gives the idea while raising her eyebrows.</p><p>- I think it's a great idea - Quinn agrees. - But why didn't you call? Or asked me at school? You know you didn't have to drive here, right? - The blonde frowns, confused. The other shrugs.</p><p>- I know, but uh... I came anyway - She replied and chuckled - I thought it would be better if I saw you, I don't know - She shrugged again.</p><p>She doesn't even know why she came, she could have just called, or texted ... But she just ... just wanted to see Quinn, she thinks. So when she realized she didn't need to drive all the way here she was already halfway to the blonde's house.</p><p>- Okay then, glad you came - Quinn shrugs and smirks.</p><p>- Yeah ... - She agrees with a tone that sounded like a sigh and starts looking at Quinn. Their eyes meet and they maintained eye contact for a while, Madelaine was lost in Quinn's dark, bright green eyes, and Quinn was lost in Madelaine's dark eyes. They could have sworn that the earth had stopped, while the world continued to move. Madelaine has never paid so much attention to Quinn, or so she thinks.]</p><p>Quinn has silky blond hair. Perfect skin and slightly pink cheeks with light make up. She has red and beautiful lips and those eyes ... Those green, dark and mysterious eyes ... The redhead started to lean her face close to Quinn's and then ... Then she came back to reality and blinked a few times - Oh , I, yeah ... I should go - She says and gets up from the couch. - I come here next Friday, then? - The redhead asks to be sure</p><p>.- Yes, yes, of course - Quinn says and Madelaine smiles</p><p>-Uh, I'll be here at seven, okay? - the redhead says, Quinn raises her eyebrows for not paying attention at first, but then nods to say that it's okay before touching the blond hair that was falling on her shoulders and pinning them in a loose ponytail. - OK then. Bye, Quinn - She offers the blonde a small smile and opens the door to leave her friend's house.</p><p>Quinn sighs and throws her head back on the couch once Madelaine is gone. Here's the one thing that Quinn managed to understand: that she was very confused.</p><p>---------------</p><p>Later that day, Sam heard a knocking on the door and ran downstairrs to answer it. He opened the door and saw Anna, well... He can't say he was expecting this.</p><p>Sam frowns with confusion before asking "Uh... Hi, Anna... What's up?" He asked as he let the girl enter the house by taking a few steps back so the girl would step in. She turns around to look at him and shrugs while putting up one of her hands holding a few papers. Sam pouted and frowned slightly as he tried to think about what it could possibly be.</p><p>"It's for class. You slept in the middle of the class, the teacher gave us an assignment and we had to team up with someone, I chose you" She shrugged and put the papers on a table "You don't remember because you were sleeping." Anna explained and shook her head "Really? It's not like you're the smartest person in the world, Sam. You shouldn't sleep in class" Anna crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p>Sam let out a long sigh and rubbed his eyes with his hands, he was almost sleeping again when Anna decided to knock on the door. He runs one hand through his hair and rests it on the back of his neck "Yeah, I know. I just... Didn't sleep well" He admitted. He could say he was having nightmares and would say he hasn't been taking his medication and could also say he's been getting more depressive and trying to isolate himself from the world, but he won't.</p><p>Because a) She would think he's all depressive and shit because he has depression. He isn't even that depressive, okay? He takes his meds and all but everytime someone figures he has depression they look at him like he's gonna commit suicide anytime soon. he doesn't like it. At all.  b) She would probably think he's childish if he said "I had nightmares and I'm scared cuz I'm a pussy and I have PTSD” c) He just doesn't feel like telling her.</p><p>Anna nodded slowly and hummed a bit "Uhm... You alone?" She asked curiously when she realized the house was completely silent apart from them, and seemed very empty. Sam nodded.</p><p>"Dean is working extra time tonight. We... Kind of need the money, y'know? It was enough to pay for his life when he lived alone and then... Then he had to take care of me and... A few things made me move out from our parents house and... Well, if he's feeding two mouths instead of one and if he's paying for us to move here... " Sam shrugs "So it makes sense that because of it we will need more money. It's been a year but we're still trying to adjust" He explained and Anna nodded, it did make sense. </p><p>"Yeah, I've had money problems before, it was pretty bad, so... I know what you mean. If you want help or if you wanna sell something, I could help, I've done that before" Anna offered and Sam smiled a bit in return.</p><p>"Uh... T-thanks for the uh..." Sam looks over at the papers to see from which class they were from "The chemistery papers, I'll-I'll read them so we can start working on our project tomorrow" He said and Anna raised her eyebrows slightly.</p><p>"Oh, yeah, right, uhm... Sure, no problem. Uhm... See you tomorrow, then?" She asks as she walks torwards the still open door and Sam nods.</p><p>"See you tomorrow" Anna nodded and waved her hand slightly before walking past the door, entering her car and driving away. Sam closes the door with a sigh.</p><p>He looks over at the papers, he knows it's important, he knows he has to read them, but he just can't bring himself to care. He shakes his head as he walks torwards the sairs without the papers and gets upstairs to go to his room. He'll read them tomorrow, he's too fucking tired for that.</p><p>-----------------------</p><p>It was Friday, it was already night and Brittany wasn't there. </p><p>Santana paces in her room, her phone clutched in one hand as she debates whether or not to call Brittany. On the one hand, it will look desperate, and needy, and a whole slew of things Santana doesn’t want to be associated with her. On the other hand, Brittany could very well be dead in a ditch right now. She can’t think of another reason Brittany’s not here.</p><p>Finally giving in, Santana slides her phone open and presses speed dial, holding it to her ear to hear it ring.</p><p>“Hello?” Brittany answers innocently.</p><p>“Hey, where are you?”</p><p>There’s a pause, and Santana feels her heart sink just a little in her chest. “Um, I’m with Artie,” Brittany answers. “We have a date tonight. I-I'm so sorry, Tana. I-I completely forgot, and I-I couldn't ditch him, San...”</p><p>“Oh, right,” Santana says, her heart racing a little. She flexes her hand in and out of a fist. She can't ditch Artie but she can ditch her?</p><p>“Santana,” Brittany says softly.</p><p>She manages to get control of herself to save face, closing her eyes and swallowing hard. “I was just calling you to tell you not to bother coming over tonight,” she says. “So it’s a good thing you weren’t planning on it.”</p><p>“Santana,” Brittany repeats, sounding like she’s going to say something Santana absolutely does not want to hear.</p><p>“Anyway, I’m gonna meet up with trouty tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”</p><p>She hangs up on the sound of Brittany’s voice.</p><p>--</p><p>Without Brittany there, Santana doesn’t really know how to occupy herself. She’s halfway to deciding on walking to Puck’s and bothering him, like she always does, when her doorbell rings, confusing her.</p><p>She crosses the fingers of right hand that it’s Brittany.</p><p>She crosses the fingers on her left hand that it’s not.</p><p>When she pulls the door open, Puck is standing on her stoop, a smirk on his face. “sup, Lopez"</p><p>She’s annoyingly relieved to see him, if only to have something to do. Stepping to the side, she gestures into her house. “Hi.”</p><p>“Thought maybe you might need something to do tonight,” he says as he steps in and kicks his shoes off.</p><p>“You clearly don’t know me as well as I thought you would if you believe I’m not busy on a Friday night,” she replies, shutting the door, and crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>Shrugging, Puck chuckles. “Okay, okay, well, whatever. I had nothing to do tonight and since I don't wanna be in my house... I came. And I know you're not about to kick me out, so... ”</p><p>Before Santana can say anything, Puck continues. “Brittany told me last year that sometimes you guys hang out on Fridays, but I know she’s with Artie tonight, he's my boy, I know everything, so I thought maybe there was a chance you were alone.”</p><p>Santana hates the way her stomach flips. Rolling her eyes, she passes him. “I guess I can give you a pity hang out. It <em>is</em> so important to help those in need.” She jokes. She and Puck always had this weird best friends kind of relationship and she likes that he still cares enough about her.</p><p>Puck shakes his head and follows her. "Yeah, You’re so fucking charitable.”</p><p>Looking over her shoulder, Santana smirks. “I know, right?”</p><p>"What are we gonna do?" Santana asks. Usually they get drunk or talk about shit or about hot girls. Well, he's with dwarf so the last option isn't gonna happen. Sometimes they watch something. Sometimes they get drunk and watch something. Puck likes to say he's kind of "rock 'n' roll" because of his nipple piercing but honestly? He got it while he and Santana were drunk and doing coccaine. They didn't know what they were doing and were running across town when they found the piercing guy and she said puck should get one.</p><p>"Let's sing something. Rachel already called me and said she wants me to come over later, I don't know how she'll react if I get there drunk and/or high as a fucking kite" He said and Santana simply rolled her eyes. Damn, midget.</p><p>"Pussy" </p><p>"Bitch"</p><p>"Prick" SShe retorned and they looked at each other before laughing. "Ugh, fine, kareoke it is, then" She rolls her eyes again.</p><p>She started to think about how anyone has ever sung to her, not in glee, not out of it...</p><p>It bothers her. <em>A lot</em>. She’s not entirely sure <em>why</em> it bothers her so much, but it just makes her think about all the girls that have been sung to in glee. Or, more accurately, it makes her think about how she hasn’t been sung to. <em>Ever</em>.</p><p>"I wanna do 34+35" Santana laughed as she remembered she never sung this song in a kareoke before</p><p>Puck scoffs. “How romantic,” he mocks.</p><p>"I know right?" She jokes as she gets the remote control to turn on the tv and put the kareoke on youtube.</p><p>"But I choose the next song, you are awful for that" Puck mumbles and Santana scoffs.</p><p>"Whatever, Puckerman. Just be my backing vocal this time"</p><p>"Isn't that what I do everyday in glee club?" He asks, Santana shrugs. It actually is. He has a voice that's way too good to be backing vocal. Mr shue is probably deaf if he thinks Berry, Anderson and Hudson have the best voices in there. What about her? What about 'Cedes? What about Puck? What about Artie? What about Sam? And Tina! God, Shuester is a bitch.</p><p>--</p><p>Much later that night, after Puck and hers voices were starting to get sore from all the singing and talking, and Santana catches herself yawning, Puck gets up and starts to get ready to leave.</p><p>She walks him to the door, shaking her head at herself. There’s just something so normal feeling about the whole ordeal that Santana is entirely unused to.  "Hey, Puckerman" She calls when he's already leaving the door. </p><p>"Yeah?" He asks while turning around. Santana looks down and then at him. </p><p>"It felt nice. I missed this. Our hang outs, I mean" She shrugs and he nods before saying he missed it too. </p><p>Puck gets to his car and drives to his house. he doesn't know if he wants to go slow so he will take more time to get home, or if he wants to go fast, so the chances he'll get in trouble are less... He decided to choose the latter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Numbness (And Whatever Word Means The Opposite Of That)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I won't say much because the chapter is already really fucking long but I loved writing it and I think it's pretty good, hope y'all are gonna like it as much as I do!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: First off: About the Sam parts: I don't have PTSD or depression (I only have anxiety, which is why I write more about Santana's anxiety than Sam's depression or ptsd, im just too afraid to get it wrong, because I know it's not a joke or anything) but I did make a lot of research about PTSD and my sister has depression, so I tried to talk to her and all, but I don't know if I captured the essency of it well in this chapter since this chapter is about his PTSD, not his depression. but next chapter, during the therapist session, he will talk a lot about the depression. Also, I tried mixing up PTSD and depression's symptoms in this chapter, which was pretty hard, so i am sorry if I didn't do it well, don't hate me, lol. In the next chapter his depression is gonna be treated seriously I promise S2. </p><p>BLAINE IS GONNA BECOME ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, I JUST NEEDED TO INTRODUCE HIM WELL, THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER. next chapter we will see a lot more of Blaine and his life, sorry for the delay to do that, though.</p><p>For those who don't know what PTSD means, here is a site explaining what is basically means and symptoms, is one of the sites i read to write about his PTSD: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967</p><p>I guess that's all I had to say for this chapter, I won't summarize it this time, so just enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="">Rachel was on her way to Puck's house, she knows how important his reputation is to him, and she knows that dating her helps it to drop a little. ... She also knows that being prom king means a lot of popularity, and helps boost his reputation, so she wants to know if Puck wants to run for prom king, but she honestly doesn't want to be queen. She actually knows that he will not win if he competes with her. So, as he risked a lot to date her, the girl the rest of the world finds irritating, she will say that he can take another girl if he wants to run for king. No hard feelings.</p><p>She rang the bell at the Puckermans' house. Alison answered it - Ah, hi, Rachel! - Noah's younger sister greeted.</p><p>- Hi, Ali! Is Puck here? - She asks, the younger girl nods</p><p>- Yeah, I think he's on the phone with Finn - She shrugs - Looks like two girls talking - she rolls her eyes and Rachel laughs. She gestures for the older girl to enter. - You can come in, I'll call him. - She said and Rachel entered the house. Apparently Noah's mother is not at home. This is good, she is not close to Noah's mother. In a few seconds she sees her boyfriend arriving in the room</p><p>- Hi, Rach - He gave his girlfriend a quick kiss - Why did you come? - He asks and she licks her lips before answering.</p><p>- I have a question ... - She starts and he gestures for her to continue - Yeah ... do you want to run to prom king? - She asks hesitantly - Because I know how important your reputation is, so... if you want, it's ... - Rachel sighs before finishing the sentence - If you want to run I think it would be better to take another girl with you. To have more chances of winning - she shrugs when she finishes talking and Puck can't believe what he just heard.</p><p>- you are kidding. ...right? - He asks, incredulous. Rachel is confused - First off: being prom king doesn't help reputation so much in my case. I wanna be a badass, not the king. And also, did you think I would go to the dance without you!? Are you crazy? - Rachel can't help the smile that crossed her face at that time - I prefer to stay with the worst reputation in the world and go to this dance with you - He says sincerely.</p><p>He's different with Rachel. She brings out the best parts of him. And, without being dramatic, she is the only thing that gets him out of bed every day when everything looks bad. And now, seeing the smile on her face, everything seems right. - Damn it, Berry, you make me all soft.- He jokes and she laughs before putting her arms around his neck.</p><p>For a few seconds she just looked at him and he just looked into her eyes. - Thank you - <em>for not giving up on me. For seeing more than a damaged boy. A fuckboy. For giving me a chance.</em> He didn't have to say that, because Rachel already knew it. She just nodded</p><p>- Yeah... - she said in a tone that resembled a whisper. He leaned over and kissed her softly.</p><p>+</p><p>Madelaine couldn't stop thinking about exchanging looks with Quinn that day. She couldn't stop thinking about how she wanted to kiss her then. She didn't know what that was. That desire. That ... that <em>feeling.</em></p><p>Quinn has that smile; those beautiful, piercing eyes; that laugh; that mouth ... It made Madelaine freak out a little, but then she thought about Oliver and was relieved. She loves Oliver, so she cannot be a lesbian.</p><p>But that still doesn't take the thought away from Madelaine's head.</p><p>And the more she thought about it, the stranger it all seemed. She couldn't get thoughts of Quinn out of her head and it drove her crazy. after all, why would she think about Quinn if she's in love with Oliver? How can she be attracted to Quinn if she loves a boy? It made her worry.</p><p>
  <em>Since that exchange of glances, there wasnt a single thought in her head made sense, and she had no idea why.</em>
</p><p>+</p><p>Sam was lying on his bed, he woke up like, half an hour ago, but he just can't find the energy to get up. He doesn't <em>want</em> to get up.</p><p>He got up from bed when Dean entered the room without knocking and simply opened the courtains before yelling "GOOD MORNING, SLEEPING BEAUTY" and shaking Sam's body a bit, making the blonde groan and rub his eyes with his palms.</p><p>"Dean, I don't wanna go to school today, is that fine?" </p><p>"Yeah, sure" Dean shrugged, Sam just frowned, he didn't think it'd be this easy at all. Then Dean continued: "If you don't go to school, I don't go to work and we just push all our responsabilities aside, what do you think?" </p><p>"Sounds great" </p><p>Dean snorted and hit his calf "Come on, get up. You're gonna be late for class" He warned before walking around to leave the room, stopping by the door and sniffing "And clean this up, it looks like you forgot the meaning of 'personal hygiene' "He said with a disgusted face before leaving the bedroom, the door still open.</p><p>Sam sighed and threw his head back, getting up from bed a few seconds later. He forced his legsto carry him through steps. One step. Two steps. Across the bedroom. Into the bathroom. Eyes down.</p><p>He looked at himself on the mirror and ran a hand through his hair, then he immediately looked down. He's starting to think too low of himself. What if his PTSD is coming back stronger and at the same time his depression is? He looks at himself again, but he doesn't see him, he sees the man who killed his family. The man who's too weak to admit what he did.</p><p>Sam shakes his head and looks down with a gulp. He doesn't have energy to change his clothes, but he has to because he isn't about to go to school on pjs. He sighed and put on the first clothes he saw and walked out of the house without even eating anything, which is weird because whenever he gets like this he overeats, like he wants to fill the void inside him and stop feeling so damn empty. It also makes him hate himself for eating so much.</p><p>Sam is driving to school, when the memories start to come back.</p><p>
  <em>"Sam, slow down"</em>
</p><p>He heard his mom saying, he also feels like he is hearing his siblings yelling and telling him to go faster. He unconsiously starts driving faster as the thoughts start invading his mind, his breath still steady as he kept his eyes on the road.</p><p>
  <em>"Faster, Sammy!!!!" </em>
</p><p>He can hear stevie saying and stacey giggling.</p><p>
  <em>"Samuel, slow down, we will get to the movies in time, just slow down"</em>
</p><p>His father said and he gulped, only then realizing how fast he was driving.</p><p>"Fuck!"  He cursed and tried stopping the car bit by bit, letting out a long breath when the car stopped. Sam keeps looking forward as he bit down on his bottom lip and felt his eyes starting to water. <em>If only he could do that to save his family... </em></p><p>+</p><p>Santana was <em>not</em> in a good position.</p><p>She wants to give up on Brittany. She wants to move on. A lot. But she can't. Okay, she doesn't really want to, honestly. a part of her knows that the two are destined to be together. Even though their relationship is very toxic at the moment. And she misses how it was before. She misses how it was when everything seemed easier. <em>She misses Brittany</em></p><p>And Sam has been getting more and more distant, it is like he has been walking away from her, trying to isolate himself, he gets angry and sad more easily ... She has no idea what is going on. She misses her best friend. <em>She misses Sam.</em></p><p>And then she remembers how things with Brittany happened. How she liked to watch Brittany and she liked Brittany watching her, how she smiled and liked to see her smiling, how they cuddled and watched Disney movies together. How whenever they spent time together, they laughed. And what she felt about Brittany before she kissed her for the first time.<em> ...Shit!</em></p><p>Did she miss the girl who literally tells her to go fuck herself with a smile on her face every day and the boy who was only her friend out of pity? She felt kind of pathetic, to be honest. But it's good that way, that they stay away. Santana Lopez doesn't have that kind of feeling, she's just there to be a bitch to everyone. Santana was so mad about it that she yelled at some random girl earlier just because they ran into each other, well, she doesn't care much about the girl, so she can technically do that.</p><p>Rachel was on her side when it happened. She hates to see Santana yelling at the others. She doesn't want to give up on her bright side.</p><p>And there's more; she knows.</p><p><em>Santana is bad because it is easier.</em> She knows.</p><p><em>Santana has problems. A lot of them. </em>She knows</p><p><em>Santana started to open up to her, </em>she started to understand Santana.</p><p>Santana closed herself again, <em>Rachel gave up trying.</em></p><p>+</p><p>That day, Madelaine didn't talk much to Quinn either. She doesn't know what she's feeling, and seeing the blonde girl always smile at her doesn't help at all. So she went straight from one class to the next. Luckily, she and Quinn didn't share any classes today.</p><p>- Why do they even date? - Rachel frowns as she looks at the poster for Finn and Quinn's prom king and queen. Noah shrugs.</p><p>- He wants to get over you. She wants popularity. She's kind of pretty and maybe that can help him. He's popular and it helps her. - He explains. Rachel doesn't believe on how Quinn and Finn manage to be so shallow. - They're not going to win, though - Puck concluded and Rachel turned her head to look at her boyfriend.</p><p>- How do you know?</p><p>- nobody here is an idiot. Everyone knows they don't like each other. - He shrugs with one shoulder - They will not win. - He simply guesses. After thinking a bit, he continues - The truth is that Madelaine and Oliver are the ones who should run. Or Santana and Sam. They are very popular and really like each other. Besides, Santana and Oliver are scary to most of the people at this school, so the votes would be guaranteed - Rachel laughs a little at that before stopping to think ... it makes a lot of sense.</p><p>So she just nods and walks back with Puck to the cafeteria to get the food, but she was surprised nonetheless.</p><p>At lunch, Sam, Noah, Artie, Rachel and Brittany sat together, everyone was waiting for Santana. She was in the hallway, on a phone call, until she came back.</p><p>- Sam, I need to talk to you - She said as she sat down</p><p>- What's it? - He asks before putting the food in his mouth and starting to chew, confusion taking over his features. Artie and Quinn got a bit confused with what Sam was eating, he usually eats salad but now he's drinking soda and eating the cafeteria's shitty food.</p><p>- My brothers are on vacation or ... something like that, I didn't pay attention - She admits - And they will come back from college and come here on the day of the semi-formal. </p><p>- Scott and Theo? - Noah asks, Santana nods. Puck loved Scott and Theo, they helped Puck with many things since his father never helped. Puck was grateful for them.</p><p>- The point is: They and my dad want to meet you. I already said that you are just a friend, but they don't listen - She rolls her eyes when she remembers her brothers' insistence and mistrust. Then again, she could tell them she's a lesbian, but she really doesn't feel like coming out right now - can you stop by my house an hour earlier?</p><p>- Yes, of course - he shrugs with indifference, as if nothing is going to change for him. And to be honest, it wasn't gonna. Girls need to do their hair and make up, he doesn't, so he would inevitably get ready for the semi-formal before Santana.</p><p>- Cool - She said while nodding - And talking about that event ... - Santana starts - What did you three idiots choose to sing? - the brunette asked curiously</p><p>- Yeah, love, you didn't tell me - Brittany remembered and pouted at Artie, as if she were being betrayed by it. Artie shrugged slightly, he can't spoil the surprise.</p><p>-It's a surprise,- Sam replied, -one that will make everybody's jaw drop,- he assured her. Puck and Artie nodded.</p><p>- if only curiosity could kill... - Rachel sighs dramatically as she looks at Puck with that sad, dramatic, and obviously fake look, Brittany and Sam laugh a little</p><p>- Yeah ... but it doesn't kill, - Puck said to his girlfriend, faking sympathy, and she exhaled loudly. Frustrated.</p><p>- Did you really choose a song? Why don't you want to say, then? it doesn't look like you chose anything ... - Santana said, hoping that the boys would give way.</p><p>- Ah, we did choose a song - Sam guarantees and puts a gum in his mouth.</p><p>- Ooh, gum. Can I have one? - Brittany asks. Sam gave her a bubble gum, then Rachel and Artie asked for one too, and then Puck and Santana grabbed the box of gum, taking it out of Sam's hand, each taking two and then giving it back. Sam rolled his eyes but obviously took his gum back, putting the last two in his mouth too, before Noah and Santana decided to take them as well.</p><p>*</p><p>Before lunch time ended Santana, Brittany and Charlie, a cheerleader, were fixing up their makeup in the bathroom when Brittany spoke.</p><p>- Sanny, I think you said some heavy stuff  to Elena earlier ... - Brittany admitted quietly before stopping her movements and looking in the mirror to focus on her outline. Passing the ink through the eyelids carefully.</p><p>- I don't lie, Britt-Britt. I'm just brutally honest. - Santana said while looking at herself applying lipstick - and also, I am a very nice person, it is not my fault if the rest of the people seem to try very hard to bring my inner Bitch to the surface. - Santana shrugged and applied a gloss. Rubbing her lips together once she's finished applying the Gloss and making a little noise while moving her lips while looking at her shiny mouth in the mirror.</p><p>- yeah, well, you don't even try to control this "inner bitch" of yours, do you? - Charlie asked and raised an eyebrow. Charlie has brown hair and green eyes, tanned skin and a blush-colored cheek. - Annoy Santana Lopez and you will have a worse fate than death - Charlie murmured to herself and Brittany laughed a little</p><p>- Puh-lease.. - Santana groaned and threw her head back before finishing the blush on her cheeks and putting the brush away. - Something uncontrollable is exactly what I am supposed to be. I mean, yeah, I do bad things, but I do it really well. - Santana pointed and closed the bag with the makeup. Brittany only laughed a little and Charlie found it valid. - Oh, and also, that Fiona provoked me, okay? - Charlie murmured "ok" and the three of them left the bathroom and were walking through the corridors. Santana stopped when she saw Quinn and Finn's campaign poster, quickly reaching for a pen in her purse to write things there, when the girl Santana had fought with earlier yells from behind them:</p><p>- Santana Lopez! - Elena shouted from behind them - the cheeky cheerleader who loves to talk and do what she wants. - Elena paused, at that moment the entire corridor watched what was happening and Santana turned slowly and with a deep, irritated breath and smiled sarcastically.</p><p>- Talking to me, hun? - Santana asked, Elena only confirmed the question with a nod</p><p>- you think you are invincible and all powerful, but I know the truth - Elena pointed to her own chest before pointing to the girl in front of her - you are insecure, an ugly whore who needs to put others down to feel better about herself. - Santana raised an eyebrow as she approached Elena, who began to feel frightened by the proximity and constant visual contact. She took a few steps back as Santana stepped closer. She seemed to be small next to the confident girl, but she tried not to show any discomfort, obviously failing.</p><p>- I am the whore? - Santana asked - quite ironic considering that your legs open faster than a fucking Google window. - Santana says and sees the girl's face in front of her squirming with anger. - but I think it's valid. You know, there aren't a lot of boys, ... or girls, for that matter, wanting to be with you. - Santana starts, before adding quickly - and we can't blame them, can we? So at the first opportunity you have ... - Santana clicked her tongue and dropped her neck to the side. - ...and also, "whore" is the worst insult that comes to your mind right now, Fiona?</p><p>- then that's it? - Elena asks, without thinking about what to say - do you say what you want and never feel bad about what you say?</p><p>- wanna know the truth? I do feel bad sometimes, yes. - Santana starts - bad for all the people who are offended by my insults, I thought they already knew they were assholes, so I think that means I feel sorry for you. Like, really, I'm sorry that your hair is so horrible that it makes the birds think youre their new walking nest. I'm sorry that you're as stupid as a door. I'm sorry that there are still no surgeries to fix people's faces because you really need one. And I'm really sorry for the guy who one day chooses you to date because he sure has been rejected many times. You can be sure that you were not his first choice. Not the second. And not even the third one - Santana laughed a little at Elena's face at the moment - Ah, yes, it also saddens me that you have no talent, because I already heard you sing and it seems that you are losing your virginity while being raped, and I'm sorry that you walk as if you have been sleeping for centuries and someone just woke you up. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. - Santana said in such a natural way that it made it seem like these are easy words to find. Elena was furious, mainly because many people were watching the fight and she didn't know what to say.</p><p>- something in your head is very fucked up, then. - was all Elena could think to say. Santana snorted. Of course it was. Everything in her head was fucked up, everything in her life was fucked up at the moment. 'You have no idea' was the first thing she thought about saying, but then she just gulped and continued.</p><p>- look, if you want to talk about mistakes, go talk to your parents, okay? ask if your father regrets not pulling his tiny little cock out of your fat ass mother before he came. But don't pick up on me because of it. - Elena rolled her eyes at Santana, but felt bad. Horrible. - yeah, you can roll your eyes too. Maybe someay you will find a brain in there, right? I am a hopeful person. - Santana says and shrugs before getting serious again - now get out of my way please, because I'm getting late for class and you don't deserve my time. - Santana passes Elena, then walks off to class.</p><p><em>Nobody </em>messes with Santana Lopez.</p><p>Now that everyone has remembered who's the top bitch in that place, she just needs to focus on the thoughts in her head triggered by Elena's sentence. "Something in your head is very fucked up then". Fucking anxiety, Santana thought.</p><p>+</p><p>"Samuel!" Dean shouted from the bottom of the stairs, Sam didn't leave his room and he doubts he even showered. He heard Sam groaning an answer but he honestly didnt want to hear whatever he had said, so he shouted his name again.</p><p>"What!?" Dean heard, barely, and rolled his eyes. Ordering him to get downstairs, which Sam did after a lot of protests. "What?" He mumbled again.</p><p>"First off: Artie and this Anna girl came over earlier, they wanted to talk to you. Secondly: Stop moping aroung. And lastly: You are going to Julie tomorrow after class" Dean said and Sam frowned.</p><p>"No, I'm not" He said, Dean raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Yes, you are. Because you are not about to tell me whats going on with you and you are obviously not about to tell me you didnt take your pills so you are going" Dean decided and Sam groaned lowly. "Sam you won't talk to me, last time it happened, you only heard to Julie, so that's my last option. I'm clueless here,okay? I'm the dark at the moment, you won't tell me what's going on!" Dean said, frustration clear in his voice. He doesn't know what to do, Sam just can't do worse than last time. He doesn't think it's possible, but he's also not about to doubt Samuel.</p><p>"You know what? Yes, I got triggered and I woke up last week feeling bad. And I don't care about the pills because even if i take them it is still gonna be here! The depression, the PTSD, everything! I don't have amnesia, Dean, I can't fucking forget about that!" Sam shouted and let out a shaky breath before calming down again, Dean kept looking at him sadly "it's-it's still in the back of my head and I know it's just a matter of time before this shit happens! I've always knew" Sam complained as he felt this want to cry, but he just gulped "I don't wanna live medicated for the rest of my life, Dean. That's why I'm not taking the fucking pills. They make me look like I'm some patient in the hospital that is sick, or those psychos that need pills to calm down. That's why I...I'm just done with this shit" Sam said before shaking his head and getting upstairs again, not even waiting for what Dean was going to answer. </p><p>The older brother let out a long sigh and he ran one hand through his hair. Yeah, Sam wasn't gonna talk to him.</p><p>+</p><p><em>"Santana, baby, can we talk? You busy now?"</em> She heard her father ask from the other side of the phone, she mumbled a 'no, it's cool' <em>"Uhm... You have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow" </em></p><p>-I have a what? - She chuckled and asked. He wants to care about her now? Well, it's too late. She's pretty sure she's so wrecked he can't help her anymore. And she's also pretty sure that him paying a therapist or whatever isn't gonna help.</p><p><em>"I heard it's good for people who have anxiety, I think it can help more than all those pills you take whenever we're not around"</em> Her father said and she gulped, he continued <em>"Also, I don't think that with me, your brothers, and apparently your mom being so absent, you are doing very well"</em></p><p>- I'm doing just fine - She promptly guaranteed, but her father simply sighed - I don't need therapy, I'm not that fucked. </p><p class=""><em>"It's not about being... Fucked" </em>Her father started and Santana rolled her eyes, even if he couldn't see her<em> "It's good for your mental health, okay? I'm just worried."</em></p><p>- Well, don't be </p><p><em>"It's not up for discussion, you're gonna see a therapist tomorrow Santana."</em> He said and she sighed <em>" I'll send you the adress later, her name is Julie."</em></p><p>- Fine - She ended the call;</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>